Friends come and go

Friends come and go, though recently I have had more go than come. Maybe its me, maybe its them, who really knows. I know that not everyone is going to like me, my choices or my habits, so I am okay knowing that these people are no longer going to be part of my life. It kinda sucks, but my life goes on and it just makes room for new friends.

Though, one thing I have come to realize is that I need to be more careful of who I try to befriend. I have gotten hurt a lot recently by people I thought were friends, and I think its because I haven't really paid a lot of attention. I've been so lonely and just wanting people around to talk to, and I haven't really paid much attention to if we have things in common or not. If there is no common ground, there isn't much to talk about. If there isn't much to talk about, chances are things will get very old very quickly.

I can't blame anyone for walking away and choosing to end a friendship with me, especially if there just wasn't any common ground. You gotta have something there to make any relationship work. And from this point on, I plan to be a little more choosy and try to make sure that I am befriending people with similar interests who can also handle me.

First and foremost, though, I want to really set my relationship right with God. I have worried too much about other people and what they think of me when I should be focused on God and what he thinks of how I have been acting. I am not perfect, and yes, even lately I haven't been acting right, so I need to really put forth more effort to quit the same old habits and patterns. Once I can get myself into a better place, I am sure to start making better friends.

I set out a couple weeks ago to build this relationship with God, and got preoccupied with other things. I am done with that. Today I realized that maybe some of these people leaving my life was another way of telling me to focus. Focus on more important things, like my husband, my children, and most importantly, God. Quit focusing on the friends, or lack of, here in Germany, and focus on building stronger and more loving relationships with the few people that truly matter. Maybe then, I won't feel so lonely and can find people on common ground and build strong relationships with them.

This is going to be a tough road because I can already see how easy it is to be distracted. I just hope that sometime in the future I can find those people who will be great friends to me, and me to them. Until that happens, its all about God and really trying to make myself a better person.