The "light" with a name

I know that many people go through life in darkness, never finding happiness. I have definitely had my share of darkness, and I have finally been shown the light, once again! Here's a short version (though not that short) of how I got to this point in my life.

I had a less than perfect childhood, though I know now it could have been worse. As a teenager, I was using drugs, drinking, partying, having sex, and not paying attention in school. I was seriously out of control. After graduating, a year late, I decided to join the military. I felt, at the time, it was the only way to get myself out of the situation my life was in.

I really enjoyed the military, and started off doing really well. I met my first husband, got married and things were looking up for me. Then, I lost my grandmother and it took a HUGE toll on my entire life. I fell into depression and it affected every aspect of everything I did. When my, then, husband got deployed a very short time after her death, I began having an affair. My first marriage was already over in my eyes, so it didn't seem so bad.

I divorced my first husband and kept on with that new relationship I had going. That man is now my husband. We have 2 kids together, have been married for almost 5 years and have struggled just about the entire time. Well, I came to a breaking point about 3 or so months ago and was going to leave him. I was so done with everything that leaving just seemed like the only solution. Then a light came to me, and the light has a name, Jennifer.

I unloaded everything on her, told her what was going on, how I was feeling and how I wanted to leave. I don't remember exactly what all was said, but something she said made me think a little differently. So, I prayed. That day, my husband came home and told me that he had given up something that had been a big cause for why I was so angry. WOW (World of Warcraft). I was immediately stunned, and really had to reconsider what I was going to do. If he loved me enough to give up the game, then it was worth trying a little harder.

Over the last few weeks, I have talked to Jennifer more and more about things I can do to improve myself, my marriage and just my life overall. She started telling me about her church and sent me to their website where they post podcasts of their services. I immediately began watching them, and along the way noticing how every thing kept hinting that God himself was speaking to me. Whether it was an unspoken prayer being answered or a Bible verse being posted by friends on Facebook.

I decided that it was time to answer him by giving my life, body and soul back to him. Part of this means asking him to reenter my heart and save me from my sins. I did this without telling anyone, just on my own, in the shower actually. Then, I thought some more about it and decided I also wanted to be baptized again. I was baptized as a child, but this time I fully understand it and have the right reasons for doing it.

I have spoken to the right people at the church and will be getting baptized on Oct 3rd. It's very exciting and has had me smiling ear to ear for a while tonight! I am so glad to get to share this next step with the person who helped get me here!

I've known Jennifer since I was about 3 or so. Her mom lived next to me growing up, but I'd only see her when she came to visit. We weren't friends, per say, but I still talked and stuff anytime we happened to see each other. Well, a couple years back, we connected on Myspace. We would comment on each others pictures and status updates, but never really had an actual conversation to often. So, when she reached out to me a couple months ago, it was quite nice! And now look at where she has taken me!

She has been the light that guided me back to Christ, helped me get to this point of wanting a better life! She inspires me to want more for myself and my family, through God. It's kinda funny to think about, but I really believe that God wanted us to meet all those years ago just so she could be here for me at this very moment. He knew I would need a light, and he used her to be that light for me!

I have asked her to be the person who baptizes me, as I do feel she is the majority of the reason I have been able to get to this point. I don't know if she will ever realize just how truly grateful I am that she stepped in when she did, but she will always be known to me as a guiding light that helped get me to my savior.