100th Post, beginning of 2012!!!

So, not only is this the first post of 2012, it's also my 100th post!!! This is mighty special! I've been trying to pick a good topic and haven't had much come to mind. So, I will just tell you all how I brought in the new year since I enjoyed the night!

Well, first, early in the evening I started to have pain in my lower back side, on my right side. Felt like someone stabbing me. After a short nap, it seemed to be better. So, I finished up the yummy food I was making and just about the time our friends came over, it was back. Not sure what it is but possibly a UTI or kidney stones. Either way, I refused to spend my new years in the ER. I took some meds and dealt with it and now I am feeling alright!

The day started off with my getting my beef stew cooking!!! YUMMY!!! I had 4lbs of stew beef I needed to use, so it made for a great meal! I also made some apple empanadas and sweet potatoes! Everything was delicious and well worth the day spent making it!

The stew

The empanadas

Our friends, Tigger and Tyler and their daughter Gracie, came to eat and bring in the new year with us! We ate, and stuffed our faces full!!! After watched some movies, some comedy shows and play a little Apples to Apples! Some may not call this a night to remember, but I sure will remember it! Bringing in the new year with great friends is always a great time!!!

Right at midnight we went outside to see what we could see of the fireworks, which wasn't much. I kissed my husband, now for the 6th new year spent together, and was even able to kiss Darien!!!

We took a couple pics and that was our night! I loved every moment of this quiet night at home with friends and family!!! While partying the new year in is what it's all about for some, having my family with me is the best way I can see bringing in the new year!

So, Happy New Years everyone!!! Wishing all lots of happiness and great things in 2012!

2012 WILL be GREAT!

I'm not normally one to make New Years resolutions because I NEVER stick to what I say. I normally make hard resolutions that are impossible to accomplish, therefor disappointing myself. Well, this year I am making some resolutions and I am making them easy enough to accomplish!

First, I am setting a goal of going somewhere I've never been, see something I've never seen and do something I've never done. Living in Europe makes this easy!!! There is so much to do and see and so many places to go, we just have to do it!!!

Second, I want to get back into college classes and not take a break between classes. Now, I am leaving some wiggle room with this for emergencies, but if nothing is going on, I want to take back to back classes and do well with it! I need to get the degree knocked out so that I can work when we are back in the US.

Third, I want to take my new business as far as I can. I am hoping to sign at least 10 Loyal Customers and recruit 2 people. I think I can definitely do this in 1 year. That gives me 12 months! If I can't do that, I am not trying hard enough.

Fourth, I want to lose weight and get healthy! I am not setting specific goals here because I may not be able to get to a certain number. I just want to have a body that I would be comfortable wearing a bikini! It really shouldn't be too awful hard, but it's going to be a lot of work!

Lastly, and most importantly, I want to work on being a better wife, mother, family member, friend and person overall! I'm flaky at times and when I am upset or having a bad day, I can tend to forget that other people have things going on too. But my real goal is to be the person that God intends me to be for all the people in my life!

What are your goals for 2012???

Probably shouldn't but do

I've had something on my mind and I want to get it out before the new year. I'm going to really try to make a change in my posts in 2012, posting only positive or motivational stuff. But for now, I need to get this out. I probably shouldn't have this on my mind, but unfortunately, I do.

I'm still friends with some of my exes. Well, probably with more than most people. But keep in mind, this is also including people I wasn't "exclusive" with. I am considering anyone I've had more than a platonic friendship with. And I am also going to be speaking about some that I am not friends with but know what's going in their life because we have mutual friends.

Some things I am just confused about. I know I am not God's gift to men or anything but seriously... I see the women these guys are with, or hear about how they are treated by these women and just don't understand it. I wasn't the greatest girl friend to some of them but there were a few who were treated pretty darn good. Now they are with women who degrade them, cheat on them and just treat them like total crap.

I know this doesn't reflect me or our relationship but it does make me wonder what was so wrong with me that I wasn't wanted more than I was. Did I try TOO hard? Was I not good in bed? Was I just plain dumb? What was it that they didn't like about me but keeps them with these women who are so horrible to them? It's kinda hard not to wonder these things. Especially when they could have had me so completely and chose someone who treated them poorly.

Though, I guess seeing all of this can make me more thankful I am where I am. My marriage isn't perfect but even with the imperfections my husband treats me pretty good. He has his moments when he can be a jerk, but all men do I guess. But 95% of the time he treats me really well.

Even though I have a really good life, it's hard not to question things like this. But I have to try to keep in mind that it must have all been God's plan to get me where I am now. With my husband and our 3 adorable boys! Now I just wish some of these guys would wake up and realize they deserve so much better than what they are allowing themselves.

Mistakes don't bring different outcomes

Ever heard the saying "If you keep doing what you've always done you will keep getting what you always got"? Or even "If you make the same mistake twice, the second time it wasn't a mistake it was a choice"? Well, seems lately these are statements I want to tell MANY people. People seem to do the same things over and over and some how believing the outcome will be better than the last time. I just don't understand it. And most times, they call them "mistakes" yet they continually do the same things.

I'm not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination. I'm completely guilty of doing things over and over and expecting different outcomes. I've even made choices to make mistakes more than once, sometimes a handful of times, and still thinking the outcomes should have been different. Well, how can we expect the outcome to be different if we keep doing the same thing? Mistakes or not, people have got to change things in the life if they ever want to go anywhere different.

Cheating on your spouse is a mistake, the FIRST time. After that, you are making a choice to do that same mistake. If you don't want to keep making that mistake, change something. Change the company you keep, change the people you chat with online, change the places you go and change the way you talk to people. If it's something that happens with the influence of alcohol, QUIT drinking.

When your spouse finds out, no one is going to blame them for treating you like crap. And when it's happened more than once, they will eventually get to a point of leaving. Don't get upset with them, they've stuck around for your antics, be mad at yourself because you CHOSE to make those mistakes over and over and they finally CHOSE to not deal with it anymore. I don't have sympathy for the people who constantly cheat and act a fool when their spouse's finally put their feet down and quit listening to all the excuses.

If you aren't married but keep sleeping with all the wrong people, well, there's a way to change that too. Quit going to bed with people so quickly (men, you too) and/or change the places you hang out to meet people. Picking guys up in the bar isn't the likely place to meet your future husband. Going home with the guy on the first night is not likely to let him believe you are even marriage material. But quit whining that you never seem to find the "right" person when your choices of where and how to get someone never changes.

Now, just so everyone reading this understands, I am guilty of both situations noted above. I've cheated and I've whined because I kept finding all the wrong guys and getting my heart broken. I was married and divorced and then remarried all before I turned 22. I won't go into details but just know that I am married to a man who doesn't put up with my crap. He loves me but he knows me. He knows my past and knows just how things work in my head and he doesn't put up with it. At the same time, though, he trusts me. He knows I've tried really hard to make changes and sees it every day.

Well, because I love my husband, I've changed some things about myself and been working on being a better me. I don't do it just for him, I do it for myself and our kids as well. If I keep making the same choices in my life to do all the things I did before, then I am just asking for the same bad things to happen. I'm still not the perfect wife, I still make mistakes, but after making a mistake I try my hardest not to make that same mistake again.

So, when I see people cheating on their spouse, getting caught and doing it again and getting caught and then the situation at home gets worse, I don't have sympathy for them. Not at all. If I am able to do things differently, anyone can. I've changed the people I talk to, hang out with and tried to only surround myself with people who are of good influence. That alone has been a change. I have people I call on when I feel over stressed or when things aren't going how I want them to, who don't let me take the easy ways out or take the road of a short fix. I call on them because I know they will remind of what a good man I have and will remind me of the problems I would cause if I made certain choices.

It's not the easiest thing because, at times, I don't want to hear certain things. I want my feelings to be validated and someone to tell me I'm right. Well, that was the first best choice I made. To not always go to those who will tell me what I want to hear, but tell me what I NEED to hear. It's not easy and I have to make the conscience decision to do the right thing but my marriage is WORTH every moment of it.

So, to those out there who make these bad choices and keep making them, sorry but don't come here looking for sympathy. If you want a good swift kick in the rear, I'm the right person to come to then. And don't come to me, or go to anyone for help, after the fact, I can't help you there. If you want help then GROW UP, reach out and call someone before you act a fool. You will gain more respect from everyone around you and you will prove your love to those you keep hurting. You will also prove that you are trying to be a better person and spouse by making that conscience decision to put other people's feelings before your own desires... Think about that.

Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. This is always the time of year we begin to think about all the things we are thankful for. When I look around and think about all the things I have, I could list things I am thankful for and be here for days. I've had such a good life, even in the bad times, and am truly thankful for all of it.

I'm thankful that my husband has a job that almost ensures us a paycheck. I'm thankful that paycheck has allowed for me to stay home with our children and for things I like to have. I'm thankful for family and friends that support me. I'm thankful for my children. I'm thankful for ALL of life's everyday blessings.

Like I said, I could be here for days trying to list everything I have to be thankful for. The thing I am MOST thankful for is God's love. I know I still have days when I struggle, but I know he's always there and is keeping me safe and loved. He is the one who has given me all the things I am thankful for. Without Him, my life wouldn't be the same.

What are you thankful for this holiday season?

I Asked for That Already

A little over a year ago was the first REALLY scary moment of being a mom. The day that Adrien fell off a bar stool and passed out. Then, just a few short months ago was another scary day when Darien fell over and hit his head so hard he basically had a seizure. Both events were equally horrifying. They were two of the most scary days I've ever experienced. Well, today I believe I really experience the scariest day of being a mom, thus far.

Jorden has been sick. He's congested and raspy and has been coughing. I took him to his 2 month check-up, just 2 days after being in the ER, and asked his Dr for the medicine to use in a nebulizer. I was told it was unnecessary because the inhaler should do enough. Seeing as how we SHOULD be able to put faith in our medical care, I didn't push the issue. Less than 48 hours later I ended up calling an ambulance to take him to the hospital.

Because I was told he was okay, I went ahead and kept my plans for the night, leaving Jorden with my friends teenage daughter while we all went out. I gave him all his meds, including his inhaler, before we left. I worried the entire time but trusted the doctors assessment of him.

After being out until really late, having some drinks and not getting much sleep I was awoken very early by the sound of Jorden coughing. This coughing wasn't just a simple cough. It was cough after cough with hardly any time between for breathing. After the girl hands him to me I watch as he coughs, not being able to get any breaths in between, causing him to turn blue and then purple pretty quickly. That moment has so far been the scariest moment of being a mom.

I get my husband out there, he takes him and goes to the bathroom for the hot water vapor while I call an ambulance. They get there, check him out and without hesitation tell us they are taking us to the German Children's hospital. I, of course, was okay with this. When we arrive, the doctor swabs his nose and throat to be sure there is no bacteria keeping him from getting better. They also start a breathing treatment while we wait.

After listening to him, doing a thorough check and negative labs for bacteria, she gives us our instructions. We are to give him breathing treatments 3x's a day with a nebulizer. Huh. Exactly what I asked for just the other day. Otherwise not much was said, but it's obviously in his lungs if they are giving me the breathing treatments.

Since getting the meds for the nebulizer and using it, he sounds so much better than he did before. He is raspy but nothing like he was. He is even happier, less fussy and all around just acting like a fairly normal baby. It is pretty sad that I now have more confidence in the German medical care than I do in the military medical care. They've (the American doctors) proven once again that they stink and don't really know what they are talking about.

I'm just sick of them proving this when it's my child's health that is in question.

love and heartbreak

Heart breaks suck. Yup, straight to the point and no working up to that fact. Heart breaks absolutely stink.

I was recently reminded of a time my heart was broken as a teenager. Someone I cared for, more than I should have, tore my heart right out. You wouldn't have known it then, but it did a lot of damage. Though, I knew the circumstances and shouldn't have been hurt by it but I started to really "love" him. I believe that was about the time I quit caring so much about people (guys in particular) so deeply.

Don't get me wrong, I still cared about them, just quit allowing myself to get wrapped up in feelings. It became easier and easier to walk away and let go. I started to use that heart break to remind me of why guys weren't good enough for me. This leading to a couple of years that I couldn't stand to be alone, but also couldn't stay with the same guy for very long.

Now, being reminded of that reminds me of how easy it was for me to fall for someone. How easily I began to care about people. But I also feel like it may be the beginning of why I've closed myself off from people, even those who could be friends.

I feel like I can easily talk to people but it takes A LOT for me to open up and open my heart to people. And, just like that time, most times I end up hurting. Many people have asked me why I don't stop opening up to people. Well, I don't want to be lonely.

If I'd never endured heart break it means that I'd never experienced love. I wouldn't want to go through life not knowing the kind of love that hurts when it's taken away. Family, boyfriends and friends who have broken my heart just goes to show that I've been lucky enough to feel love for many people in my life.

I have no doubt that I will continue to feel heart break for as long as I live. Though, I will forever remember that first real heart break and know that I was truly lucky to experience it.

They grow too fast

Hey there! I know it's been a while since I've posted, so I am getting a couple moments to update now.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind and have definitely gone by WAY too quickly. Jorden is now 6 weeks old and I feel like they just handed him to me yesterday. I love watching my boys grow but I wish it was a little slower.

We are now trying to get Jorden on a schedule. He is breast fed so it's a little more difficult that it was with my other two, mostly, bottle fed babies. He is doing great, though, trying to adjust to this new way of things. He's just a joy and I am loving having a baby again.

Darien and Adrien are adjusting pretty well. Adrien took a little longer to warm up to him but now he is the protective big brother. It's really cute. Though, he's also the one who laughs when Jorden cries, so... I can already tell they are going to have a love/hate relationship with each other. Darien is just so proud of his little brother, it's awesome hearing him brag to everyone about him.

Other than that, like is the same as always. We are trying to get ready for the holidays and all the craziness that will be coming the next couple of months. It's still so hard to believe it's already the end of October. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season!!!

3 Weeks later

Well, it's been 3 weeks since I gave birth to my amazing lil man, Jorden. He's such a sweet baby. Only really cries when he's hungry and sleeps the rest of the day. And by day, I mean just the DAY. He's got days and nights mixed up right now so we are trying to work on switching that around. So, dealing with an unhappy baby tonight.

Other than the mixed up nights and days, he's been an absolute joy. I have been mostly breastfeeding him but have used some formula in between to help with his growth spurts. He's grown an inch since birth and gained almost a pound. So, needless to say, he's been a very hungry lil boy.

We had his newborn photos done! They turned out amazingly! I'm very happy with the photos and the experience!

They are super cute. Though, it helps that he is super cute ;)

Now we are just trying to get a schedule down. Having older kids makes it necessary. I'd love to follow advice and feed on demand and allow him to keep me up all night but I have to take care of my other kids too. So, trying for a schedule and hoping he agrees.

The older boys love him. Darien brags about his brother. Adrien is still coming around but he's a lot more helpful than he was. He just wants to help get things, not really have interaction with Jorden. He will get diapers, wipes and other items he just won't play with or really be affectionate with him. But hey, it's better than him being mean or jealous. I will take it!

He's Here, how Jorden entered the world!!!

Wow! What a weekend we've had!!! Jorden finally graced our lives by being born at 3:53am on September 16th! And when they say every pregnancy, labor and child are different, they surely are not joking. I really enjoyed my labor and birthing experience even though nothing went how I would have liked, or hoped for.

Darien was induced 5 days past his due date with no previous signs (other than once at 37 weeks when I took castor oil) of labor other than being slightly dilated. From the start of induction til delivery was about 7 hours total.

Adrien came on his own 3 days past his due date. I was having contractions though I didn't believe that I was in labor because they weren't really painful. My best friend talked me into going in just to be checked out and told I was already 7cm dilated. Yup, talk about being shocked. From the time we arrived at the hospital to delivery was roughly 6 hours, though would have been shorter if I'd skipped the epidural.

I had an epidural with both boys so I really hoped that with this delivery I could skip it and have a quick and natural labor. Well, here is how it all happened...

Thursday was the beginning of the Bazaar that takes place on base 1-2 times a year. It's pretty much like a large flea market, only WAY better :) I wanted to go. Just to get out of the house and do something with the kids, knowing I was running short on time to do things with them, just as the 3 of us.

So I meet up with a friend and we head out there! We walked around and looked at a bunch of stuff and I even bought something Filip had been looking for and we couldn't seem to ever find exactly what he wanted. Anyway, we also got a bit of food, FUNNEL CAKE being of top priority.

After seeing mostly everything, I decided to get a baked potato. Man, was it delicious. But when I sat down to eat I felt a small drop of liquid leaving my body. Nothing that was concerning seeing as how most women, especially me, at 39 weeks pregnant do tend to have drops of urine when they have a full bladder. It happens, so no biggy. I mentioned needing to use the restroom but first finished my tater.

After I eat we decided to walk back to get a bubble gun for the boys. They'd been really good while we were out there and I felt the deserved a reward! But first, I had to pee. I find the restroom and go. Something seemed different this time, though I didn't really think twice about it. Even my pee looked different, though not alarming since I did have 2 sodas while we'd walked and ate. So, I finish my business and head back to my friend and kids.

Pretty much the second I stepped outside of the bathroom, I had a tiny little gush of fluid, though at the time really thought I just didn't empty my bladder enough. I stopped, went to go back to the bathroom to finish and it just kept coming. Yup, it was happening, my water had broke.

I was still unsure though. My water never broke on it's own with the other boys so I really didn't know what it was like. All I know is that I had emptied my bladder and yet I was still peeing all over myself.

I go get my friend and tell her that I need to go, it being around 4 in the afternoon. Told her my water broke and to the vehicles we went. Because she's such an amazing person, she took my kids home with her and also took me to Fil at work. She took my van home and Fil just drove us to the hospital.

The whole car ride nothing more came out, which made me worry that I really had just urinated on myself. So, we arrive to the hospital and I am becoming discouraged. I get out of the car and have another gush. Well, I figured at that point that it must be my water because there is no way I had THAT much pee in my bladder.

We walk up to Labor and Delivery, every step causing more and more liquid to come out. By the time we got there, I was soaked so badly that you could hear the sloshing of the water in my jeans. It was awful and I totally looked like I went swimming in my clothes. And even though it's one of those things, it was quite embarrassing to walk around looking like I was peeing on myself.

So, I check in and they take me to my room. I asked if they were going to verify if it was my water and they looked at my jeans and said they see that it is quite obvious to them. Well, alrighty then :)

They get me all hooked up on the monitors and what not and I am ready to get the party started. Now, all we had to do was wait for those contractions to start. So we wait. And wait. And wait. I had maybe 2 small contractions and nothing else. Around 6 the nurse mentions starting pitocin to get contractions going. Well, I was really hoping to avoid that so I asked to wait a while longer. They agreed but didn't want to wait too long. Then Fil ran home to change clothes and gave me even more reason to wait a little bit on starting the pitocin.

Around 9pm I finally agree to start it. I just wanted to have him. So, they start it around 930pm. The contractions didn't take long to start up but even with the pitocin, if I got up and moved around, the contractions would slow down and stop. This showed that even the medicine wasn't really sending me into real labor. How wonderful.

After about 2 hours of having these powerful contractions that were doing nothing, I gave in and asked for some pain meds. I was still really trying to go with no epidural but asked for pain relief. The gave me fentenol. Amazing. I was slightly, ok more than slightly, high and the pain was gone. I could still feel the contractions but without the painful burn of them.

That lasted about an hour, then the pain was back. Though, I was able to push through for a little bit before asking for more. The second dose didn't take ALL the pain away, but a good chunk of it. So once that one wore off, I asked for more because they were terribly painful. That 3rd shot did nothing for the pain, they were coming so fast and strong that I felt like my stomach was on fire.

She checked me again (when I arrived I was 5cm) and I was STILL only 5cm. At that point, I decided to give in and just get the epidural. I'd endured about as much as I could. I felt like a failure but knew that I just wouldn't make it through that kind of pain without it progressing. If I'd at least dilated more, I would have tried harder but there was no way I could go through hours and hours of those contractions.

So, they get the epidural going pretty quickly. Though, there was a spot on my left side that I could still feel the contractions and the burning sensation in my pelvic area. They pulled the epidural thread out just a cm to give more area and laid me on my side. Once the pain was gone, they checked me again. In that short time, probably about 45 minutes- 1 hour since I was last checked, I jumped to 8cm. FINALLY, progress.

In less than an hour I was fully ready to go. The nurse went to get the dr and we were getting geared up to see our baby boy!!! I did a small test push, which just showed that I was really ready :) Just waiting for the Dr. Once he came in an =d was suited up and ready to go, I started pushing. For all of 13 minutes, as I watched everything in the mirror, I pushed with all my might so that I could finally hold my son.

Yup, 13 minutes and 4 pushes is all it took to get him out! Though, it may have been less pushes had we known for sure if I was having contraction when I pushed. They'd take the monitor off so we were pushing blindly since I had no feeling at the time. But he was finally out, and I was finally holding him.

I didn't fall in love with him right away. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, just wasn't totally in awe immediately. Though, the first feeding, which was within minutes of him being born, is when I looked down and realized that he had just stolen my heart.

I had no tearing, no stitches, nothing other than the normal swelling!!! He was my smallest child, weighing in at 7lbs 2oz and 20 inches long. He's tiny. Especially after having 2 babies over 8lbs, that 1lb sure does make a difference. But, he's extremely handsome anyway.

I can now say that I have 4 guys that my heart belongs to. 4 guys that have to share me and all get to be loved by me!!! The 4 most important guys in my entire world! But that is how guy #4 came in our world to add more love and happiness!!!

Still Waiting

Hello out there! Today I am 38 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I was really hoping he'd be here by now, but of course he's going to be stubborn and not come out. Today, 9/9, was actually the birth date we were hoping for since our other boys are 11/11 and 7/7. It would have just been neat to have all of our kids with the same month/day birthdays.

I've been on and off feeling really awful. Between back pain, the feeling of being extremely heavy up front and just overall miserably pregnant, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I had them strip my membranes yesterday but it did nothing other than make me uncomfortable for about 30 minutes after.

I still have the on and off contractions, which is really annoying. About the time I think it's getting real and need to call to go in, they stop. Drives me insane. Especially when they keep me up until 4-5am and then stop. It's definitely been a test of patience that I am quickly starting to lose. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I'm miserable and my kids are surely picking up on that and acting like total fools most of the time now. It's tough.

At this point, I've pretty much given up hope that Jorden is going to join us before my due date. I'm even trying to prepare my brain for the possibility of being pregnant past that. It sucks to think about, and I surely don't want to be pregnant that long, but might as well be as mentally prepared for it as I can be.

If it wasn't so uncomfortable at this point, it wouldn't be so bad. But the dr's here won't help with the pain, they won't really help get labor started and just plain won't do anything. If I could at least get something to help with the back pain, I'd be a much happier person. But, I've got 3 weeks or less left, that much I know. I think I might be irritable for the entire time but I can do it :)

I'm still here, and still pregnant

I know, I haven't updated or anything lately. I've been slacking on almost everything lately. I am so happily, yet miserably still pregnant, and so ready for this little boy of mine to grace us with his presence.

style="clear: both; text-align: center;">


I hit 37 weeks yesterday. So, now, any time he decides to come out is perfect for me. The sooner the better. Everything hurts, mostly my back. I've gained about 35lbs and it's all in front of me. That is sure to put a large strain on someones back. Though, my feet and my legs are always sore as well. They just aren't used to the extra load they are carrying around. But I am surviving and I know it will be over very soon! Then I will get to see and hold my little guy :)

I am currently on a break from school. At least til Oct but possibly until after the first of the year. We will see how it all goes. I took a math class as the final class and it was the worst grade so far. Though, I guess a B+ isn't bad, just hoped for more out of myself. Ah well, I passed and that's what matters!

The kids have been CRAZY lately. I think between the baby, being cooped up at home because it's just too much for me to take them many places by myself, and the back n forth weather here, they are really starting to act nuts. Though, not horrible, just acting out in ways. Some days are extremely hard, other days are a breeze. I guess, with being a parent, that is pretty normal in daily life.

Now, we just await the day for Jorden to decide to join us! He's probably in there hearing just how crazy we are and doesn't want to come out, LOL. Well, there is an end in sight. If he doesn't come out on his own, 4 or so weeks is the longest I will be allowed to stay pregnant :) So, at least there is that and I am excited that I know in a month or less I will be holding my baby boy!!!

The next update will probably be after he's born. With pics!

"She probably drinks too"

Imagine watching a very pregnant woman walk to her car, sit down in it and light up a cigarette. What are your immediate thoughts of this person? Probably along the lines of "what on earth is she thinking" or "white trash". At least, that is what I imagine most people would think. I'm sure many people think even worse things.

I know that if I wasn't that woman people have those thoughts about, I'd surely be the one on the other side thinking the same things. Yes, I am a very pregnant smoker. Though, when you read this, I hope you find understanding in my decision to continue smoking.

At the end of February 2006 I found out that I was pregnant. Until this point, I truly started to believe that children just were not in the cards for me. The pregnancy was pretty unexpected, and at the time, I wasn't even sure I wanted to have children. I was smoking close to 2 packs a day at the time. A lot.

I knew that quitting was the best option so I talked to the mid-wife that I saw at my appointments. She was very honest with me and told me that with as much as I smoked it wasn't a good option to quit cold turkey. It would be better to cut back and gradually quit. So, I made a plan. I cut down right away and was sure I didn't smoke more than 3/4 of a pack per day. I did this for the first few weeks. Then, I cut down to 1/2 pack. I eventually got to where I was down to 1-3 at most per day.

Everyone around me still smoked and it was really very hard to not smoke socially. I managed to keep my limits and that brought me to the end of the pregnancy. The doctors all warned me of pre-term labor, low birth weight and other birth defects that were possible due to my smoking. I didn't take the warnings lightly but it was just too hard to quit completely.

My first son was born, by induction, 5 days late at 8lbs 3oz. He was born healthy and happy. We had no health issues other than the normal illnesses and as of today still haven't had anything that could be directly linked to me smoking while pregnant. He's now 4 and is a perfectly healthy, happy, very active little boy!

Then, I get pregnant before he turned 1 with son #2. Since my smoking had increased again since having my first, I made the same kind of plan to cut back. By the end of the pregnancy, I was at the same place I was with the first. Smoking 1-3 a day. There were some days I had more, though rare. I tried very hard to keep it minimal.

In July 2008, I had baby #2. He was 3 days late and 8lbs 3oz. Born just as healthy as his brother and in the early months had about the same illnesses as his brother. Nothing that other babies weren't getting. The only thing I can say could possibly be related to my smoking is that he's had more ear infections than his brother. Though, from what I can tell, even with mother's who didn't smoke, the ear infections are just common among children and some have more than others.

But do you see the similarities? They were both late, both over 8lbs and both born perfectly healthy.

Now. In December 2009 I found out that I was pregnant again. This time, I was determined that I'd quit smoking. So, I decided that since I didn't smoke that much anyway, I'd just quit. Ha. I quit cold turkey and within days I regretted that choice. I lost the baby. While no doctor in their right mind will tell me that it was due to me quitting, I truly believe that it played a part in it. I feel like the quitting put so much stress on my body that it just couldn't handle that and the stress of being pregnant. So, the result was that the baby didn't survive.

When I found out I was pregnant this time, I never even considered the idea of quitting. After having 2 perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies while smoking then losing a baby after deciding to quit, it just didn't make sense to me to quit. I just made the same kind of plan to cut back and go on with things the same way I did with the first two.

Now, I know that when I walk out to smoke or when I am around people who don't understand, I get dirty looks and comments about it. I've heard it all. "It's not right", "it has too many risks" and the most recent "I bet she drinks too". I get that most people won't understand, especially if they don't talk to me, but to assume that because I happen to smoke a couple cigarettes a day that it automatically means I do other harmful things while pregnant is just awful.

I don't expect everyone to agree or understand my decision but hopefully anyone reading this will at least see that I haven't made the decision with total disregard to my child. I'd much rather be able to just give it up and be the large pregnant woman who doesn't do anything potentially harmful to my unborn child but what would you do if you'd had the same results I've had? Honestly?

This just shows that you really shouldn't judge someone based on one action. I eat fairly healthy, or at least try to. I don't drink, I don't load up on lots of sugar and I drink enough water to drown an elephant most days. I try to make sure I do everything else to ensure a very healthy and happy pregnancy and baby. And, so far this pregnancy has been as healthy as can be. The baby was actually measuring bigger than average at 20 weeks, and there's been no reason to believe he will be born anything other than healthy.

If you know me, you know that I am already in love with this child, just as much as I love my other children. I will continue to put up with the comments and looks because I know people just don't understand. Though, instead of assuming that I am this piece of white trash who probably also drinks, look past that and just pray my son is born just as healthy and happy as his brothers were!

We went on a date!

Hubby and I got to have a date last night! Yup, got to go to dinner all by ourselves and enjoy a quiet meal. Well, it wasn't really "quiet" but the noise was not from children. It was fantastic! It's things like dating that remind me why I fell for him, and sometimes we just need those reminders.

Everyday life happens. Kids need us, house needs to be cleaned, laundry needs to get washed and other things just have to get done. Most days, in my house anyway, there just isn't enough time in the day to get it all done. Plus, by the time my husband gets home, I am so exhausted all I want to do is sleep. Then, I remember that I have homework to do. It's just never ending sometimes.

With all the craziness day to day, it's easy to get lost in life and forget the great connection I had to my husband before kids. We get so busy that we forget each other at times and things start to get boring or even difficult between us. I'm sure anyone who has been married can agree that this happens to the best of us too.

Then, we things are getting rough and we both know we just need that break, we do what we can to get it. Asking people to take our kids is where we have the most trouble. Trust me, I love a good break but it's still hard to muscle up courage enough to ask someone to take them. I will do it, it just takes time to finally just blurt it out.

But once we are finally out and able to enjoy each other, it's great. I decided this time to ask some questions, things I may not have known about him, to have conversation that didn't revolve around work or kids. It was pretty interesting. I learned some new things about my husband and it was kinda nice. Not everything I learned was nice but I was able to hear about and see a side I hadn't seen of him. It was nice because it made me feel closer to him in a way that can't be described.

We really should do date nights more often. I'd love to go weekly but I just don't think we could afford it or find someone each week to take the boys. Heck, monthly would be great too. Just having that time with him would be fantastic for us. It helps relax us and really gets us connected to each other through more than our kids and home. I can't wait for our next date!!!

THAT guy!

After reading another blog, I just want to share something :)

Growing up, all I ever wanted was for someone to love me. Now, I know I had family who loved me, but that's not what I mean. I wanted a guy to love me, to accept me and to take care of me. I wanted a guy who would choose me before anything and would be there in way no one ever had been. I wanted to find THAT guy for me.

Well, looking for that guy put me in a lot of bad relationships and with guys who only wanted 1 thing from me. Not that I complained at the time, it was fun. I honestly believed that "giving it up" to these guys would eventually get me that guy who would be what I was looking for.

Ha. I wish I knew then what I know now. All the time I wasted on these guys who thought nothing more of me than another quickie or just another number. It's sad the things I allowed guys to do to me, or ways I let them treat me. And for what?

Well, over the last few years, I've come to realized "for what". I endured all that mess so that when I did finally find THAT guy, I would know it. Though, I found THAT guy a long time ago, it has taken me quite some time to fully see it. How did I miss it when now it seems so obvious?

THAT guy married me 5 years ago. It was less than a year since we'd met and we had just learned that we were pregnant with our son. So see, same old pattern of looking for love, even with him. Anyway, we were married and started our lives together, with a baby growing inside me.

In the 5 years we've been married, we've had 2 kids, 1 coming and 1 pregnancy loss. We've gone through some extremely rough times, even almost ended our marriage a couple of times. We've really gone through a lot together in 5 years. I guess that is what we can expect from marriage and sharing our lives with another person, lots of events and struggles.

Now, with all that we've been through, I look at him and can't imagine my life without him. We've made it through, what I HOPE are some of the toughest things we will have to face as a couple. Though, knowing we can get through what we've been through lets me know that as long as we stay strong and together, we can make it through anything.

Those moments when he kisses me when he just came home from a long day. Or just turns and tells me he loves me for no reason at all, just to let me know he does. The moments that he comes in the kitchen and wraps his arms around me, or just takes over cooking and tells me to go sit down and relax. The moments that he looks at me just to take a look and thinks I didn't see it. Those moments are the moments that help me realize that all of my choices, right or wrong, and all of the things I went through with guys before him are what led me to him. That and God led me to him and obviously put him in my life for a reason.

No, it's hasn't been easy but he's been the 1 and only person (aside from family) that has really 110% stood by me NO MATTER WHAT! Even in those times that he was upset with me, disappointed with me or just plain hurt by me, he still made sure to let me know that he was right there and loved me. That nothing I could do would make him feel any differently. That's REAL love! Now I just hope he feels the same love from me in return.

I finally have THAT guy! and he has my heart :)

The count-down begins!!!

Wow, 31 weeks pregnant ALREADY!!! This pregnancy sure has been going by very quickly, at least it seems so. I know time is about to slow down though, especially since I am getting so close! The end always seems to drag on since that it the most uncomfortable time. Though, I've been feeling really good the last couple weeks so I am still truckin right along!

He's definitely dropped, pretty low too. There is no other time of pregnancy (for me) that makes me pee THIS much, lol. I feel like I might as well just set up shop in the bathroom sometimes, but I love it still!

He isn't as much of a mover as the other two were. He seems pretty calm in there. Though, that probably just means he is going to be even more of a handful than I have already. Or, maybe he will just be a calm and lazy baby, who really knows. Either way, he will get tons of love and I will be ecstatic to have him!

I am counting down though. Once I reach 36 weeks, anything that is safe and could possibly start labor, I am doing it. I am praying that he comes on Sept 9th to keep the birthdays of our kids similar. My boys both have same month/day birthdays so it would be cool if this one did too. So, gotta get the party started and well on its way to help myself reach that goal! Though, God already has his birth date picked out so we will find out what it is when it's time!

I haven't quite reached the point of not wanting to be pregnant anymore, more that I am just ready to meet my handsome little man! I enjoy pregnancy, for the most part, especially when they are moving. So, just seeing him for that first time and cuddling him is what I am wanting more than anything.

So, 5 more weeks of trying to stay pregnant then off to trying to have a baby! I can't wait!!!

Great Parties end with cops :)

Adrien, my little guy, turned 3 this past week. We planned his party for Saturday, July 9th, since the weekend before was the holiday weekend. The party was FANTASTIC!!!

The turnout was amazing, so many friends for him to play with and for me to talk to! And since we did it at the park behind our apartment, the kids got to wear themselves out for a couple hours! By far the best birthday for either of my kids yet! The only things missing were our bestest friends and family who couldn't be here on account the ocean is in their way...

The kids got to play on the water slide, have cake, play with the cool goodies in their bags and eat candy!!! Of course, not until after a hot dog or hamburger first, hehe. Just all around a great time!

Since it was a Saturday and the kids were having so much fun, we hung out for hours. Before we knew it, it was 10pm. Now, I am not normally the parent that likes for my kids to be up that late, especially not outside playing. But, with it being for Adrien's birthday, the fact there were still other kids and parents out there, it just seemed like it would be alright.

Ha. Apparently we were disturbing some people. We had started to clean things up and start bringing everything home when 2 cops walked up. Someone had called in a noise complaint. Wonderful. A few 3-6 year olds playing outside warranted cops getting called.

Now, they were playing and having fun but they really weren't being THAT loud. At least not to me, anyway. There were a few times that one of the kids would scream, though not nearly as loudly as they could have been screaming, because they were playing "Ghost". I just didn't think they were really being all that loud.

Anyway, a report had to be made, including Adrien's name since it was HIS party. How awful is that??? A 3 year old just having a good birthday had to have his name included in a police report. I'm still not sure whether I find it funny or maddening.

I'm upset with the fact that whoever called didn't have enough respect for themselves, us or the kids to come out and simply ask us to keep it down. Chances are, if we'd realized they were disturbing people, we would have just came home right then and called it a night. But instead, someone had to be a prick and jump straight to calling police to come quiet down a handful of toddlers.

Ah well, guess it's a great story for him to have later. That the first party he had cops show up to was his 3rd birthday. It's a great one!

Scared Mommy

Having boys keeps me on my toes, and sometimes shaking. Today was one of those days that I have been on my toes and shaking through most of the day.

It started off as a pretty normal morning. We got up, had pancakes for breakfast and I started my daily chores. Then, I decided I'd start putting baby stuff together. I put the stroller and playpen together and started working on the swing.

My boys, being playful, wanted to play with the boxes. Fine with me because they were entertained and having fun! Darien was walking around with the box from the swing on his body when he tripped and fell face first into the ground.

Now, this kid has taken many HARD falls and hits to his head without being phased, so I didn't jump right up. He started to cry a little bit and stayed on the ground. I kept asking if he was alright but next thing I know his eyes are rolling and his tongue was hanging out of his mouth, his arms pulled up to his chest and his body shaking. Drool was coming out of his mouth, he wasn't responding to me at all. It even took him a little bit after this stopped for him to respond. I of course called the ambulance IMMEDIATELY.

They came out and he seemed okay but because I've NEVER seen him do that and he's had MANY falls, hard falls, with hitting his head and never had that happen, I was completely freaked out. This child has had unicorn sized knots on his head and maybe cried for a few minutes and was right back to his normal self. So, yeah, this had me worried.

The ride to the hospital was a little strange. He asked me a couple times where we were and had to wear my sun glasses because his eyes hurt. He just wasn't Darien. He was quiet and seemed really tired. Which of course added so much more worry. Once we got there, they checked him out and said he seemed to be acting pretty good under the circumstances.

The Dr was willing to do a CT if we wanted one though I do hate the risks of them on kids, so we opted for some monitoring and go from there. He checked out fine, no bleeding in his ears, eyes dilating normally, responding to commands and talking again. He was obviously tired, but still managed to stay awake to let the Dr examine him. We stayed there and they kept an eye on him for close to an hour and we were able to come home.

They do think it is probably a mild concussion, but even if they got the scan to see that, there isn't much they can really do about it. It would still be a matter of waiting and seeing how it goes. We were told if he was in any contact sports or physical activity that he shouldn't return to it without being cleared by Peds. Otherwise he was clear to resume normal daily activities and the Dr seemed pretty confident that he'd be okay.

Also, the likely reason that he had that sort of reaction when he's never had before is because of how he hit. Normally when he's fallen he hits the side of his head, around the temple. There is a little more protection in those areas, causing less direct force to the brain. Whereas this time he fell directly on his forehead, giving that direct force right to his brain. Makes sense to me and sounds like a justifiable reason for the episode he had. Didn't make it any less scary though.

Ever since we got home, he's been himself again! Though, every noise that sounded like throwing up or weird thing he did was making me worry. I don't think I've ever watched my child as closely as I have today. I'm still worried. Short of letting him sleep with us (which IS NOT going to happen), I am doing what I can to make sure he's still alright. He's my boy, I need to know that he's going to be fine!

It's scary being a mom. I love it more than anything but man, days like today really show you how much you worry when you are a parent. I don't think it's going to get any easier either. My boys are my life and thinking that anything has happened to them makes me freak. I'm really hoping it's a long while before we have another fall like that.

For now though, he seems just fine! I am sure he is, but any parent out there will understand the worry I feel. When we get up tomorrow, I am going to make us breakfast and take all these boxes OUTSIDE. I'm also going to just love on my boys and make sure they know how much they are loved!

Just moving right along

Well, life just keeps moving right along! We have 2 new family members, as of yesterday. Filip's sister had her twins, a boy and girl!!! Both healthy babies and everyone is doing well!

I'm now on the countdown to having my baby! I say after 9 more weeks this child can come whenever! I do enjoy being pregnant but I find myself being a lot more impatient this time. I love babies, especially my babies, so I am ready for it to be time and to get to hold my little prince!

I love my pregnant belly! I am going to miss it, just as I did after my boys were born, but I do love it! We are still undecided about having more, though the option will be left open for when we get back to the US.

School is going. I am in week 3 this week and so ready for it to be over. I am ready for a break again! I feel much more trapped in the house and unable to have quality family time being in classes. And I would love to enjoy the summer, or what we are getting, with my family.

It's been rainy and cool here. Not much of a summer just yet. I am thankful for that since I am pregnant and I'm not as uncomfortable as I could be in the heat. Though, I know the rain won't last forever, though it is Germany so it might, so I will soon be hot and icky.

Other than that, life is pretty boring around here. Adrien turns 3 in about 2 weeks, so we will have his party. I am also going on a Polish Pottery trip to Poland the weekend after his party! yup, pretty excited about that. Just going with the ladies so it should be a good trip!

Well, back to life I suppose. Hopefully the next update with be a really good one!

Just a few updates

Most people close enough to me know that I have been going to counseling lately. While some counselors have expressed that they believe I could be mildly bipolar, the lady I've been seeing doesn't feel that way. She believes that I am so used to a negative way of thinking that everything that happens is subject to my negative thinking patterns. Meaning, even something that could be viewed with the positive, I only see the negative and dwell on it, making it much worse than it is.

We've decided to go with the cognitive thinking therapy to help change my thinking patterns. There are many different ways of going about it, and I am willing to try them all. Recently, the biggest change is asking myself a list of questions when I start stressing or taking things personally. The questions are way to think through the entire situation and turn it into a positive or to at least prove that it isn't personal to me. This has helped immensely.

It can be difficult at time to remember to go over the questions, but they help. In the heat of the moment, I still have my moments and let things get to me more that I should, but when I get to those questions, it reminds me that I am over reacting and need to take a step back. I've noticed a small change in myself since starting with it and hope it continues to make changes in my habits and thinking patterns.

I am also going to start using "Guided Thinking" to help with sleep. I am going to download some stuff on itunes that should help relax me and also help with the positive thinking. Plus, if it can help me get to sleep, that would help because I wouldn't be as tired and cranky all the time!

So, small steps and small changes but definite improvement! I don't know if anyone else has noticed it, but at least I am feeling better! All I can do is take it one day at a time and pray that God even continues to work in me, making me better each day!

In other news, the hubby will be going to Vegas, lucky him. It's only for a week though, so hoping he doesn't have time for too much fun. Maybe one of these days we will be able to go together, and not on work time. So, a week for the kids and I to hang around and miss him. Thankfully, it is just a week.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant today!!! Only 14 weeks to go! I am starting to get very uncomfortable and feeling like I live in the bathroom again. He's got to stay in there at least another 10 weeks, but after that I'm hoping he won't want to stay in too long. I can't wait to see my baby BOY!!! Oh, and we have chosen a name...

JORDEN LUKAS

I am beyond excited!

Anyway... will post more updates soon!

Another class, added stress

Whelp, that was a much shorter break from school than I intended it to be. I am now getting enrolled in another class to avoid some unnecessary retardedness. Hopefully just one more class and I can be done with this school all together. I've had more stress and frustration dealing with these people than anything in my life.

I submitted my FAFSA form back in December. The financial adviser I had at the time didn't do a very good job of telling me what I needed to turn in, so it took until having a change of financial advisers to get this all done. Now, the new financial adviser has even slacked on giving me some information and it caused for some major confusion. Now, because I want to get my grant money for the 2010-2011 school year, I have to be actively in a class. So, even though I have already taken a full-time students course load for the year, I can't get the grant money unless I take another class. So, here I am trying to get into a class before it's too late. I want that money...

I am extremely frustrated because part of the issues I've had recently are that I had been putting too much on my plate and here I am adding the one thing I was able to cut out. I'm hoping that the next 5 weeks go by quickly and that it's plenty of time to get the grant money to me. Once I get that money and this class is over, I am totally done with this school. When I am ready to start classes again, after the baby is born of course, I will be finding a different school to attend. Just too much stress on me.

Other than that, life is good.

Weekend fun!

There is so much do around here with small kids, though we haven't really taken the time to explore those things. Yabadoo is an indoor play place for kids with like 5 or 6 different "bouncy houses", trampolines (with and without the harnesses), a volcano to climb up, swings and some other stuff for them to do. It's great for kids Darien and Adrien's ages, and even for bigger kids. If I weren't pregnant I'd be out there doing everything with them!

The first time we went was a few weeks ago and they had a blast. We decided to go back this weekend and make a day of it! We were there for about 3 hours and both kids were pouring sweat. Fil was soaking in it too. Honestly, it was quite disgusting. Though, very worth it to see all 3 of my boys having such a great time!

It's a little blurry but you can still see that HUGE smile on his face! I think he went on this thing 5 times, for 5-10 minutes each time. He LOVED it!

And of course, my jumper. He had so much fun just jumping into the balls. Though, this was after he had worn himself down by climbing the volcano and playing on all the other stuff!


Then on Sunday we decided to go to the pool. Well, the boys all decided we'd go to the pool. We weren't there too awful long but I am sure the boys had a pretty great time. Darien is starting to get a lot more comfortable in the water. Adrien is having his "don't let go of me" phase.

Aren't they awesome! Thats what I walked in to see when we were about to head out the door. I love my guys :)

After swimming we decided to come back and grill out at home. We made steak, chicken and shrimp kabobs. This was our first time ever making kabobs, and we don't grill out often, so an all new thing for us. It was fun to make the kabobs with Fil and just spend that time together. Plus, they didn't turn out too bad anyway. The steak was good, chicken was pretty good and the shrimp needed some work. But, it was good and the time we spent together is the best of it all!

Pregnancy Stress and Irritation

Having a baby can, and should be, a joyous time for women. Pregnancy is an amazing wonder and should be enjoyed. Though, I'm finding with this pregnancy that I am not nearly as happy with things as I was with my other pregnancies. It's not the pregnancy itself, rather the care I've received, or not received, however you want to look at it.

I realize that I had my other children at another hospital but does care really differ that greatly? I am still dealing with military providers, how come it seems so much different than what I had before? I understand that even with the military, different places will have different operating procedures, but the care I have received recently is definitely substandard and it's creating lots of stress and a lack of confidence in the people that should be caring for me and my baby.

A couple months ago I got sick. I had a head cold that lasted over 2 weeks. I'd made an appointment with my PCM but she said it was just something I needed to let pass. She'd also stated that she was uncomfortable prescribing medications to me because I was pregnant. So, a few nights later I went to the ER because I was getting worse, not better. They would have prescribed penicillin but I am allergic to it, so they were uncomfortable giving me anything else because, well, I am pregnant.

By that point I was fed up with being told that I couldn't get prescribed meds because I am pregnant. I was sick, have 2 other kids and a house to take care of. I can't afford to be sick for 2 weeks without some sort of help to make me better. I finally called the OB/GYN clinic to see if I could get in to see the midwife I'd seen for all my baby appointments. They, luckily, were able to get me in that day and she gave me some antibiotics and I was already feeling better by the next day. Just frustrating that I had to go through all of that to get helped.

Well, now, I am sick again. Head cold. I am stuffy, coughing and my left ear has so much pressure built up in it that it feels like I've stuffed an entire cotton ball in my ear. This started over the weekend, but since I had my baby appointment already scheduled for today, I decided to just wait to do anything and have them deal with it. Ha. I ask if she can look in my ear to make sure it's not an infection or to at least see what we can do about it. Her response was that they don't have that equipment because they don't look in many ears. REALLY?

Ok, I give credit to the fact that it is an OB clinic. They aren't looking at ears, but I know for a fact there is at least 1 room there that does have that equipment and she could have very easily made it possible for it to be checked. Instead I am being told to go to my PCM who isn't going to do anything for me anyway, I'll either end up in the ER or calling them back for an appointment when it could have all been handled today. I'm extremely disappointed and frustrated with this place.

At our last base, the hospital had 2 different OB clinics. They had the clinic that only saw pregnant women and the clinic that handled all other womanly appointments. Even if you weren't regularly seen in the women's clinic, before 20 weeks, that is where you'd go for any illness or issues during pregnancy, whether it was pregnancy related or not. This ensured that you were always seen by an OB and there was never the issue of a Dr feeling uncomfortable or unwilling to prescribe medications to a pregnant woman. I just think that is how it should be everywhere. While pregnant, whether the issue is pregnancy related or not, we should be seen by an OB or someone who has more knowledge of OB care than a general physician.

I'm beyond unhappy with this place as a whole, now adding this stress and irritation doesn't make me feel any better about being here. And with some of the stories I've heard about having babies here from other people, I am worried that my birth experience is going to be one huge nightmare. Just not the happy and joyous feeling of pregnancy I remember from when I was pregnant with my other kids. Hopefully things will either get better or my birth experience at least won't be horrible. If so, they are going to have a lot to listen to from me, that's for sure.

Disney in Paris and marriage!

Every time I travel, if it's more than a couple hours worth of a trip, I end up getting sick. Though, this weekend, feeling icky and sick wasn't enough to keep me from having one of the best weekends of my life!!! Getting to go to Disney and to see the Eiffel Tower was an experience that I'd do again, even with the cold.

Now, before I jump in to how the weekend was for us, understand that this was a trip hosted by, partially paid for and organized by the chapel on base. Only 40 families were chosen to attend and we did NOT pay nearly as much as we would have paid to do it on our own. That was the reason we wanted to go. Something to do for little money. Anyway, part of going was attending marriage seminars (very short ones that in no way interfered with our getting to experience everything we were supposed to) that were definitely informational and funny!

So, Friday morning we arrive at the chapel to sign in and get going. There was a mini seminar before taking off and by 10am we were well on our way! The bus ride was pretty smooth and the kids did great! We stopped for lunch in France somewhere, and let me say, the food was pretty good. I just had the chicken and potatoes while Fil and the kids ate pretty light. Then, around 4 we arrived at the hotel. And, I must say, I was slightly surprised at where we were staying after paying such a little amount.

That evening we had another seminar after having dinner. Luckily, the speaker was funny and the way he passed on the message, it wasn't something that made it a pain to have to do.

Saturday morning we had breakfast and then a short seminar before starting our day! It was so exciting going to Disney with the family! Though it was crazy crowded and lines were stupid long, we had a great time! Kids enjoyed seeing all the characters they got to see and Darien seemed to especially love the crepes! Yes, instead of selling funnel cakes at the stands, they were selling crepes.

And, something I really need to get used to is that Europeons don't wait around for you to decide what you're doing. They are fast-paced and let nothing get in their way. It seems a bit rude to us Americans, but it's just their way. So, lots of that in this very crowded park. Thankfully there were no trampled kids and everyone had a wonderful time. We did, however, lose our backpack that had some changes of clothes, diapers and other little items we'd taken with us. Thankfully the important stuff was in my purse so nothing of true worth/value was lost. It was all-in-all one the of best days for us as a family!

Then, Sunday was just as awesome! We had another short seminar in the morning after breakfast then were on our way to downtown Paris!

We decided to go see the Eiffel Tower (we had the option of that or the Louvre).

We made it a pretty chill day so we didn't go far from the tower. We hit up a small place for lunch nearby and did light shopping and rest the rest of the time. It was GREAT! Though, next time we go to Paris, not so much chill-ness will be had. There is so much I want to see and there just wasn't enough time this trip. Though, we wanted to see the Eiffel Tower and we got to see that, so either way it was well worth it!

Overall, especially for what we paid, this was just an amazing trip! Between the chapel paying for a portion and the husbands group paying a portion and us paying just what was left, this trip basically cost us hardly a thing. We were able to spend money and enjoy our time there rather than pinching because of how much it cost to get there. That really was a great thing for us!

Plus, the marriage seminars were actually informational and helpful. We learned quite a bit that we both are hoping to incorporate into our marriage and life. Plus, the speaker was making jokes and really just put the message out there in a way that was easy to understand and fun at the same time. It wasn't someone preaching at us or making us feel like bad people for having done things the way we have, just gave tips and ideas of how to make things better. All the while explaining why marriage is the way it is. Good stuff!

The kids also were so well behaved. I was worried with all the traveling to get there that we'd have cranky kids. Or because of being so busy all weekend that they'd get irritated and act out. We had hardly any issues at all. Adrien had a few times that he became fussy but mostly it was after being outside, stuck in a stroller and/or hungry. Other than that, they were fantastic and had a great time!

Fil and I also got to have dinner with other adults and no children. It was a nice evening out. Though, with that dinner, and throughout the entire weekend, I learned some pretty useful things that I need to remember next time we travel...

1. I get sick so medicines are necessary to take with us
2. I am such a picky eater that I really need to take more foods that can substitute meals
3. Some places, even when THEY realize they've messed up your food, you don't get new food, they only apologize for it.
3. I do not like king prawns
4. I do like fish
5. Big Mac's in Europe are made much neater than in the US, though I think I prefer a sloppy big mac.
6. Marriage takes work, but taking vacations together makes you see what you've missed the rest of the time.
7. My husband and children really are the most awesome people I know and I can't wait for our next vacation!!!