THAT guy!

After reading another blog, I just want to share something :)

Growing up, all I ever wanted was for someone to love me. Now, I know I had family who loved me, but that's not what I mean. I wanted a guy to love me, to accept me and to take care of me. I wanted a guy who would choose me before anything and would be there in way no one ever had been. I wanted to find THAT guy for me.

Well, looking for that guy put me in a lot of bad relationships and with guys who only wanted 1 thing from me. Not that I complained at the time, it was fun. I honestly believed that "giving it up" to these guys would eventually get me that guy who would be what I was looking for.

Ha. I wish I knew then what I know now. All the time I wasted on these guys who thought nothing more of me than another quickie or just another number. It's sad the things I allowed guys to do to me, or ways I let them treat me. And for what?

Well, over the last few years, I've come to realized "for what". I endured all that mess so that when I did finally find THAT guy, I would know it. Though, I found THAT guy a long time ago, it has taken me quite some time to fully see it. How did I miss it when now it seems so obvious?

THAT guy married me 5 years ago. It was less than a year since we'd met and we had just learned that we were pregnant with our son. So see, same old pattern of looking for love, even with him. Anyway, we were married and started our lives together, with a baby growing inside me.

In the 5 years we've been married, we've had 2 kids, 1 coming and 1 pregnancy loss. We've gone through some extremely rough times, even almost ended our marriage a couple of times. We've really gone through a lot together in 5 years. I guess that is what we can expect from marriage and sharing our lives with another person, lots of events and struggles.

Now, with all that we've been through, I look at him and can't imagine my life without him. We've made it through, what I HOPE are some of the toughest things we will have to face as a couple. Though, knowing we can get through what we've been through lets me know that as long as we stay strong and together, we can make it through anything.

Those moments when he kisses me when he just came home from a long day. Or just turns and tells me he loves me for no reason at all, just to let me know he does. The moments that he comes in the kitchen and wraps his arms around me, or just takes over cooking and tells me to go sit down and relax. The moments that he looks at me just to take a look and thinks I didn't see it. Those moments are the moments that help me realize that all of my choices, right or wrong, and all of the things I went through with guys before him are what led me to him. That and God led me to him and obviously put him in my life for a reason.

No, it's hasn't been easy but he's been the 1 and only person (aside from family) that has really 110% stood by me NO MATTER WHAT! Even in those times that he was upset with me, disappointed with me or just plain hurt by me, he still made sure to let me know that he was right there and loved me. That nothing I could do would make him feel any differently. That's REAL love! Now I just hope he feels the same love from me in return.

I finally have THAT guy! and he has my heart :)