Sick kids :(

Until the last 2 weeks or so, we had been pretty lucky with not getting more than the common cold! Probably had a lot to do with us being in the US until the end of November, but I was hoping with us being home more and not going out so much, we'd get lucky and skip the sickness. Ha, yeah right.

Not long after we got home I was having issues. Not sick, but pain and other symptoms. I ended up going to the ER and put on antibiotics and pain medication. Then, just about the time I was feeling better Darien starts complaining of his belly hurting. He threw up 2 nights in a row, no fever and no other symptoms, just the belly pain. Finally, after 5 days of him complaining, I took him to the ER. He was severely constipated (even though he had been pooping). He had to have 2 enemas done, which are by far my least favorite thing. Then, just as he is feeling better, Adrien starts having a fever. At first it was just a fever and tylenol was taking it down.

Today, however, tylenol did nothing for it. He cried ALL morning, between short naps, and was so hot he was his own little furnace. I called, but of course, no appointments available. So, I was told to take him to the ER because chances were they wouldn't have any tomorrow either. Well, even if they had some for tomorrow, I wasn't going to wait that long. I learned with Darien that I will no longer listen to my child tell me he is in pain and not do something about it right away. So, off to the ER we go.

When we first got there, his fever was 103.4. His heart rate was WAY higher than a normal heart rate and even the nurse could feel the heat radiating off him without even touching him. Because of how high his temperature was, they got him right in! They gave him motrin (which I didn't have at home) and that seemed to help almost immediately. The doctor came in, checked out his ears, and both ears are infected. The right ear is a lot worse than the left ear, which is why that was the ear he kept messing with. I knew before I took him in what it was, so thankfully it was pretty quick.

Since having the motrin, he has been in such better spirits. Not a single tear since coming home, at least not because of the pain. He's on antibiotics and will hopefully be back to his normal little self soon. It's so hard when the kids are not feeling well. I love their personalities and when they are ill, they aren't themselves.

I am hoping that this is it, at least until after we move. We haven't gone out too much, staying away from people who are sick and staying out of crowded places for the most part. I don't go shopping unless I NEED something, so maybe we can keep the yucky sicknesses from hitting us! If not, guess it will be dealt with, but one can hope.

Almost a new year

What a weekend!!! Friends, food, gifts and lots of laughs have been shared! And we aren't done yet. Still waiting on a few things through the mail from family and then our Christmas will finally be complete!

We don't normally splurge on things, but I think this year we went all out, especially for the kids. All the cool stuff that they got will keep them happy for quite a while! I am excited to get to play with them and all their cool new stuff, and to take them out on their awesome new hot wheels when weather permits it!

Hubby and I had originally said we wouldn't buy more than simple stocking stuffers for each other, just focus more on the kids, but of course, that didn't happen. I got some pretty awesome stuff, and stuff I had considered getting for myself very soon! New gloves, scarf, velcro body towel and matching robe!!! And of course some nice new earrings that I can change up with different outfits! He didn't get as cool of stuff, but he got some much needed shirts. Plus, I think our new TV can be counted as a gift for us all!

Now we just wait for the last box of things from the family in the states and we will be done with Christmas! I am excited to show the boys what they got from everyone, and ready to see it all myself! I know what it all is, but seeing it in person will be so much better!

Now, we start to get ready for the new year! I am not one to make resolutions because I never stick to them, but the new year brings all sorts of new things! We are moving toward the end of January, hopefully paying off a lot of our debt with taxes and getting back onto the right track with our finances! School is bringing up a lot of new ideas for me also. I am rethinking my major already and even considering changing schools to get better benefits from it.

The only other thing the new year is going to bring, that I am sure of, is a new attitude about myself! I am already working on it and seeing a lot of changes in myself, so I will continue to work hard and be a better person, wife, mother and friend! I am going to start going to the gym, work on quitting smoking and try to get back into the shape I was before I had my kids! If I can do that, I am doing wonderful!!!

What does the new year bring for you?

Can you believe it?!

Can you believe it? Christmas is knocking at our doors, already! This year has really flown by. I remember it seemed to drag in some parts, but really, I can't believe it's already Christmas. I can definitely say that my LONG trip to the states really helped pass a lot of time, making Christmas seem to come a lot quicker.

I am really missing my family and closest friends in the states right now. I remember Christmas being family dinner and gift exchanges and lots of laughter. I really miss that. This year, we are starting our own little traditions, with the memory of what we've had and what we'd like to do as "our own".

Christmas morning is just for our family. This year we will not only be giving them lost of neat presents, but sharing the real story of Christmas! They are still very young, and it might not sink in right away, but at least we can tell them about it and hope to raise them knowing that Christmas isn't about the presents you get, it's about Christ and celebrating his life!

Family dinner is a must! Though, it's not blood family that we get to share it with now, it's our military family here in Germany. We have some friends coming over for a yummy feast! Turkey, stuffing, mashed taters, chocolate and banana pudding pies, apple pie, cranberry sauce and whatever else people are bringing over! I can't wait!

I am really excited to see the kids' faces when they wake up Christmas morning! They have no idea what they are in for this year! We did a lot more than we originally intended on doing, but they deserve it! They've been really good this year, just being the awesome little boys they are!


Another thing this week brings for us is deciding to move! Because my car is crapped out again, I've decided it's best if we live on base. I love my current house, but getting anywhere from up here is tough not having a car. And, waking the boys up at 0630 to take hubby to work and have to come home before doing anything isn't my idea of a good day. At least with living on base we will have parks within walking distance and people around all the time so the kids should hopefully have a few new friends! We accepted a house today and will be moving next month! I am excited!

Though, moving on base brings a few challenges. We have to downsize, big time. Next week will begin my frantic cleaning and getting rid of things. We have way too much and we won't fit in the new place with it all. Luckily our furniture is fine, its the little things that we have to part with. I have a basement full of appliances and stuff that we haven't used, old clothes and stuff. Just got to get all those boxes emptied and out before the movers come!

That's all my news for now! I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!!!

Last Year

One year ago I went through one of the most horrible experiences of my life. Finding out that I had an ectopic pregnancy, and the physical and emotional stress that caused left some pretty big emotional scars. Today is the 1 year anniversary of finding this out, and a year from when the worst of it really started.

December 4th was the day I found out I was pregnant using a home test. We had a holiday party that evening so I took the test to know whether or not I could drink. It was positive, and I was ecstatic! I went to the clinic the following Monday, December 7th, and they confirmed that I was indeed pregnant! I made my initial appointment with OBGYN for December 18th! Everything was perfect!

Then, December 15th I noticed some spotting in the evening and had some cramping so I went to the ER. The doctor told me that I was probably experiencing a miscarriage and that I needed to let it pass. She prescribed some pain medication and sent me home. The next night, even with pain medication, my pain was so bad that I could barely move. We called an ambulance and I was taken back to the ER. The doctor that night pretty much said the same as the other doctor, gave me more medication and sent me home. Though, he said to keep my appointment with OB so that I could be checked out to ensure everything was clearing up.

The day of December 17th, a nurse from the OBGYN clinic called to cancel my appointment. I explained to her everything that had been going on and informed her that I needed to keep the appointment. After arguing over it a little, she said she would call me back. Guess what? She never called back. So, getting worried, I got in touch with someone I knew who worked in the clinic. She told me to just show up at the appointment time and she'd take care of it.

I showed up that morning, had more blood work done (blood work had been done each time I went to the ER) and waited to find out what was happening. The doctor who agreed to see me did an internal ultrasound and we found that my pain was pretty limited to one side. My blood work had also showed that my levels had dropped, though not nearly as quickly as they should have with a normal miscarriage. The doctor finally stated that based on what she had seen, she believed I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy.

I've found out that a lot of people don't know what that means. Well, it's when the fertilized egg gets stuck in the tube, which can be dangerous of not caught. It can cause damage to the tube, and in some cases, death. Thankfully they caught it and that I finally had someone who was willing to take the time to be sure before sending me back home.

Now that we knew what was happening, it was time to decide which route to take care of it. I had 2 options, I could have surgery or get a shot of methotrexate to ensure clearing of the tube. Surgery is risky anyway, but that early of a pregnancy they may not have been able to find the sac and I could have had my entire tube removed, making it that more difficult to become pregnant in the future. The shot was a better option, as it left little scar tissue and didn't require any cutting.

The shot, though, is a drug they use for cemotherapy on cancer patients. Side effects were extensive, and I think I felt them all. I was weak and sick for days, could barely get out of bed without getting dizzy and winded. I felt ill constantly and could do nothing about it. Plus, all the emotions I was going through from knowing that I was losing the baby we had tried for, it was just an awful time.

Now, it's been a year and I feel almost the same this year as I did last year. My body has been under a lot of stress, infections that are causing bigger issues, and all regarding my baby making parts. I had my IUD removed last week, which apparently caused an infection, leading to PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). So, I was just in the ER the other night with pain and heavy bleeding, and today I am still fighting the pain.

I know it's not the same kind of pain, and no where near as emotional of an issue, but it has been a painful reminder of everything. I almost feel that if it wasn't for all of this now, I wouldn't be having as hard of a time with my emotions. I would still be very sad, but would I be THIS brought down by it? It's a lot on my mind and have had a rough day, though I am trying to be strong! For my boys, my husband and myself! God has brought me through this last year, and because of Him, I am going to make it through all of this!

Sent from God!

Sometimes people are put in your life for short periods of time, long periods of time or for forever. Though, there is someone who has been part of my life off and on since 2003. We met while we were both in the military and were friends right away. We've had really great times together as friends, but we've also had times of not being friends. Through our ups and downs, we somehow find ourselves back together, even if only through the internet and phone!

I think a lot of our ups were because we do share a lot in common. Our goals and dreams have the same desired outcome, a happy and healthy family and a life we can be proud of. Though,a lot of our downs are due to that as well. For a long time we had different thoughts on how to reach those goals, and sometimes those thoughts collided and caused for some clashing of personalities. Though, now we seem be on the same page and the same sort of ideas on how to reach our goals.

Now, a little background before I dive right into whats going on right now. When I was leaving San Antonio to come to Germany, I had a going away party. Unfortunately Adrien had gotten sick and I let people know to give them the choice of still coming. She was pregnant and had her son to think about, so she said she probably wouldn't be able to make it with the family. Though, she said she'd try to stop by to at least see us off. She didn't. I was hurt, frustrated and took it WAY to personally. A couple days later, I wrote a blog on myspace, thinking she wouldn't see it, a over exaggerated the situation. Well, she did see it and talk about a blow out fight. It was bad. So bad that even when I sent her a message weeks later, she still wanted nothing to do with me. So for over a year and a half, we hadn't spoken to each other.

So, fast forward to about 5 months ago, when I decided to turn my life back over to Christ. I was getting all sorts of crazy signs, and answered prayers out of nowhere, and she happened to be one of them. A few weeks after I made this choice, I received a message from her. To be honest, when I first saw her name, I didn't even want to open it. I was nervous as to why after so long she'd write me, and worried about what it might say. Well, I opened it anyway, and it wasn't at all what I expected. It was her showing concern for something that had happened to me. I wrote back, but left it short and simple so that if that was all she wanted, it could be done, but she wrote back again. Responses getting longer and longer, and before I knew it, we were on the phone.

Well, now that we've been talking for a while and really getting to know each other again, I believe God has put her back in my life for a reason. She is a God fearing woman herself, and she's one that won't sugar coat her opinions for me. She will give me advice on how to live the life I want to live, and be brutally honest as to how I could change certain things I choose to do. The best thing is, she doesn't try to tell me that I have to change myself, just have to change choices I make. Some people might think this is too much, but she doesn't give unwanted advice, she does ask first, but when I want it, I take it. Sometimes brutal honesty is the best, and I know that I need it.

We've been through a lot together, so she knows my history and knows how quickly I can be thrown off when around the wrong people. She doesn't judge me for past choices, but is there now to help me make better choices. I hope we continue to be Sister's in Christ, as I think I could learn a lot from her and we could really be great friends now that we are both on the path to Heaven!

Crazy week

Whew. It's been a crazy week. My car broke down, started classes again, trying to get a semi-routine for me and the kids, appointments, trying to fit everything in and beat the weather. It's been quite interesting to say the least.

Now we think my car has been towed because it wasn't parked where we left it when Fil came home from work tonight. It's a good thing I decided not to go crazy for Christmas because it looks like we will be paying for that now. I just hope he doesn't get into any trouble since there wasn't much we could really do right away.

I started class Tuesday. I am taking English Composition 1, so lots of work in the weeks to come. The good thing is that we get a holiday break for a couple weeks, so a little extra time on my second paper! For the 5 week class, we have 2 discussions and a quiz every week plus 2 papers, the first one due week 2 and 3, second one due week 4 and 5. With that short break, should be pretty easy to accomplish. Will update more as grading starts.

I am not a routine kind of person, but I have been trying to keep at least a general routine for the kids. They haven't really taken naps much since we have been home, so keeping them busy during the day is a must. With the weather being super crazy, we haven't been able to get out as much as I'd like, but we will soon!

I've had a couple of appointments that I wasn't sure I'd make, but thankfully I did. I have more next week, and will probably have more scheduled soon. Don't worry, nothing important, just trying to get caught up on stuff we missed while we were in the states. Darien still needs his 4yr check up, WIC, all that stuff. Hopefully we can get it all done soon so that I can quit worrying about it all.

The weather has been so crazy here. Snowing, rain, ice. Just can't really tell hour to hour how the weather is going to be. Road conditions have gone back and forth between decent and horrible, so lots of delays and school closures. It's been nuts. I need to get outside and take pictures, because it really is like a winter wonderland here! It's really pretty to look at, but a pain in the butt to deal with.

Other than that, not much happening here. But stay tuned, my life always gets interesting!

Good people in the world

Being from Florida, I had never dealt with snow before. Last winter was my first experience, though I limited that experience. I refused to drive in it, even if it was good driving conditions, unless I absolutely had no other choice. Which, most of the time, I had a choice and chose not to. I do love to look at it, but hate the thought of shoveling it. Luckily Filip can do all that, but if I had to, I'd probably have some really pissed off neighbors.

This year I decided to be a little more open. I wasn't going to let myself be stranded at home simply because there was some snow and slush on the ground. So, of course, the day I decide to venture out with the kids is the day my car wants to be retarded again. Filip has done so much trying to get it fixed for me, but nothing he does seems to make any difference. It's just getting worse and worse, this time dying on my in traffic and not starting back up.

I was at a light, a very busy light, about to turn left onto a main street through our town. Just before it turned green, the car sputtered and died. Before, when it used to do that, I had enough time to rev the engine a little so that it wouldn't die out on me, but this time it was so quick I didn't have the time to do that. I tried turning it on at least 10 times, and finally, it did as long as I was holding the gas pedal. But the moment I let go of the gas, it died, not letting me get it anywhere.

So, there I am, holding up traffic, surely with some angry people in a hurry. Thankfully, a random person decided to pull over and ask if I needed any help. I agreed that I did, because what am I really going to be able to do with 2 kids in a broke down car in the middle of the road? He gave me a push so that I could park the car. He then offered us a ride home.

Now, I am the person who is truly paranoid of everyone and their intentions. So, at first I was extremely nervous that he would just randomly offer me a ride, but then I realized that Filip was in a class today and the chances of reaching him were slim to none. So, instead of waiting there, in the cold with the boys, I took him up on his offer to take us home.

I was extremely nervous the whole time, praying that he wasn't a crazy person wanting to take us and harm us, and thankfully, he wasn't. He was truly a nice person, doing a nice thing for someone in need. I actually feel bad now for being so paranoid, but I just couldn't help that. It's given me a new look on people, and hopefully will help remind me that there really are still good people in the world. Being paranoid won't go away over night, but having encounters like that will help me not be so quick to jump to bad thoughts of others.

I would say, even with the car breaking down, today was a pretty awesome day! I got over my fears of driving in the snow, had a nice day out with my boys and was shown by a complete stranger that there are still people out there who are just nice and helpful. I appreciate him, I am sure my kids would if they understood, and I am sure Filip does too!

Chaos

Lately my writing has been short, chaotic and not well revised. I am hoping that I will get back to the better writing I know I can do very soon! Between school, traveling and now, trying to get back into the swing of things at home, I just haven't had the time or focus to do as well as I'd like. Just bear with me as I get through the adjustment of being back home, and through the sickness that is now running through my house.

Coming home has been great, but now, because of the drastic difference in weather, we are getting sick. I woke up this morning feeling completely gross, and the kids are sounding a lot worse. I should be used to this, anytime I ever travel I end up sick. Especially on long trips, and I would say that the last 2 or so weeks that I was in the US, I definitely was on a long trip. In that time, we'd gone from FL to GA, GA to NC and NC to VA. Then came back here. That's quite a bit for such a short time period.

Florida barely cooled off before we left. It was getting cool at night, but day temperatures were still in the high 70's-low 80's. GA was much different, though a bit cooler at night. NC was much cooler all around, but nice enough in the day time that a light long-sleeve shirt was enough. VA was about the same, until the last couple of days when a jacket was necessary unless standing in direct sunlight. So, coming home to snow and temperatures in the teens has definitely thrown our immune systems for a loop.

I knew going into the trip that I'd be dealing with the FL heat and the VA cold, so packing was interesting. I had to pack summer clothes and winter clothes to make sure we were clothed properly in each place we were going. It was quite a bit, especially with as long as we were going to be gone. And, let me say that traveling with that much stuff, 2 small children and doing it by myself was quite a task. A task that I will never willingly do again. If I had taken less, that would have been one thing, but I took WAY too much.

We ended up packing 3 good size boxes to mail to ourselves. I'd accumulated enough stuff that we had to, otherwise we'd not have gotten everything back. This is including getting 2 new large suitcases to travel with on the way home. Though, one suitcase I went with got trashed in FL, but it was a smaller one. At least Filip was with me on the way back because I don't know if I would have survived that trip alone.

Now we are home, sick and trying to get back into our own routines. We have so much that we want to do, along with getting ready for Christmas, so it's been interesting. I think we are adjusting pretty well, other than the colds, and it's just a matter of time before we are completely on track!

All sorts of things

What a week this has been. We just got home Tuesday, though it feels like we have been here for weeks. We've been so busy, trying to get so much done. Christmas shopping, reorganizing, etc. With Christmas right around the corner, we have so much to do.

I think, except for the stockings, we are pretty much done shopping for the kids. They aren't getting many things this year, but what they are getting are bigger items that I am sure will make up for lack of quantity. I am super excited for them to see what they get!!! I know their faces are going to light up when the open their gifts!

The nice thing, no matter what we are doing for them, my family is also sending stuff for them! So, even though they aren't getting a whole lot of stuff to open from us, and Santa, they will have more from grandma, grampy Bill (my mom's b/f), granny (mom's b/f's mom) and aunt Shannon! And if it's anything like last year, they will get more than enough!

I really do love the holidays! Christmas for me has become a whole lot more meaningful since having children, but even more so this year! With Christ in my life, there really is a whole new meaning to Christmas! I am glad to be able to share that with my children this year! I hope they grow up knowing Christ, and living with him in their lives!

I have yet to make my beef stew. With all our running around, I just haven't had enough time. Though, tomorrow, no matter what, I am getting it done! I have talked about it so much, and wanted it so badly, that I am not leaving the house tomorrow until after I have it at least cooking! Although, I don't think we are doing anything tomorrow that requires us to leave. I want to get the Christmas tree up, hang some lights and just have a quiet day at home with my awesome little family!

We went to Filip's work holiday party! They had some raffles, and normally we NEVER win anything. We went expecting the same to happen this year, and guess what?? We won $300 towards a trip booked with RTT!!! (For those who don't know what RTT is, it's the base travel office here!) How awesome is that??? I haven't quite decided what to use it for, but there are a couple ideas!

We may have some friends coming to see us Sept/Oct time and we'd love to be able to take them to Paris. That's a good idea for the money, and this way we can treat them without breaking the bank doing it! The other idea I have is for our Anniversary! It just seems like it would take a weeks trip to get the most out of it. So, we are going to be discussing it some and see how we want to use it. Either way, I know I am excited because this basically means we are guaranteed to go somewhere!

Whew, it's cold

WOW. It's pretty darn cold outside! Snow on the ground, freezing temperatures and lots more snow predicted. I knew I was coming home to this, but I haven't quite adjusted to it yet. It seems like it's starting a whole lot sooner than it did last year, and getting a lot more at once than last year. It's very pretty though, just wish I didn't have to go out in it.

One thing, about being gone for so long, is coming back and needing to make tons of appointments that I wasn't able to do while in the states. I've already made 3 appointments and still have a handful or so more to make. This pretty much means that once my car is completely fixed, I have to drive myself to this stuff.

Now, I am from FL. I had never even seen snow until last year. So, driving in it, ha. I am definitely not comfortable with it, so I will be doing as much as I can to either have the hubby take me or get everything done around the same time. I got away with only having to drive a handful of times last year, but not so sure I can make that happen this year. We will see.

With the colder weather comes warmer foods! The one thing I do love is stew. I will be making my beef stew this weekend! I can't wait! I already have everything I need, and I can already taste it!

I also plan on working on some little projects with the kids. Went out last night and got some construction paper and stuff to make decorations for the tree. We are also going to bake cupcakes and cookies together! We are going to be the non-traditional family who leaves cupcakes for Santa! Though, once Darien sees what Santa got for him, he will thank us for leaving cupcakes!!!

Anyway, it's cold outside and I have lots of stuff to finish up before our Holiday party tonight! Hope everyone is staying warm and enjoying their days! Until next time!