I'm Not Their Dictator

I remember walking around the grocery store, hearing people's kids having massive fits and being total brats.  Why on earth weren't these people controlling their kids?  Make them shut up already, dang.  It was so rude that people would bring their kids to a place like that and ruin the grocery store trip for everyone in the store. 

"If I ever have kids, they sure won't act like that, especially not in public" I remember saying to myself.  And if I did ever have a kid who thought to act a fool like that, I would beat their bottom.  Yep, that was the kind of mom I was going to be, IF I ever became a mom.  I didn't even want kids, so it was a major IF for me.
 

So, for those of you who know me and my kids, you know that I didn't exactly turn out to be THAT mom.  Now, don't get me wrong.  My kids are very well behaved and respectful.  However, they have bad days.  There are times I am the mom I hated in the grocery stores.  My kids get upset, they have fits and I let them.  Shoot, there are times I have even left them laying on the floor and walked to the next isle and let them stay behind. 

I don't "control" my kids.  I have a relationship with them.  They are disciplined and have boundaries but I am not a dictator.  I figure, they are people just like I am.  They need to learn how to think for themselves and how to act even when someone isn't there telling them how to act.  They can't learn that if they are constantly bogged down with rules and discipline.  Plus, they are just kids.  I want them to enjoy being kids while they can.  Life passes too quickly not to enjoy it.

My kids have feelings and emotions just like anyone else does.  I try to teach them appropriate ways of dealing with it all.  They lose their cool and have bad days just like anyone else does.  I just try to teach them acceptable behaviors. 

We give them options.  We can't always be around to choose things for them, so they need to learn to choose things for themselves.  I don't want to be the mom of a 20 year old boy that can't make decisions for himself. 

I want them to learn that there are consequences to those choices, good and bad.  I can easily make the right choices for them, but they should know how to do that for themselves.  Plus, they have to know that when they make bad choices that there are consequences to that.  But I also want them to enjoy the outcome of good choices and to see the reward in that!


So, now, I kick myself for the thoughts I had about those parents in the grocery stores.  I completely understand it now and wish I hadn't been so quick to judge them.  Because no parent can have complete and total control of their kids, and they shouldn't.  Because no child is perfect, so there will be bad days.  And I am honestly glad for that.  I love that my kids are all so different, with amazing little personalities and do not act like others want them to.  They are their own people, they are blessings.


I wake up knowing that I have four blessings that need direction, discipline, and most of all, love!  They are definitely loved, A LOT!!!  I may not have had this plan for myself, but I LOVE that God's plan involved me being a mom and teaching me the lessons that can only be learned from being a mom!