Loneliness

Here lately I have been feeling pretty down and lonely.  One of the downfalls of the military life and being separated from family.  Between kids being sick, school and schedules, it doesn't seem like I have had much adult interaction outside of my husband recently.  And that can start to get very lonely feeling.  I haven't really even talked much to people on the phone.

The only person I have really talked to today is my mom, but I have not felt nearly as lonely today as I have the rest of the week.  Why?  Probably because I am much more aware of the presence of Christ today.  That's what Sunday brings, right?  Now, I need that feeling throughout the rest of the week.  I have wanted to express my feelings but every time I tried I felt like some whiny little brat who was throwing a fit because the attention wasn't on me.

I can't imagine that anyone enjoys feeling lonely.  It's a tough thing to feel.  But, I realized today that I really shouldn't ever feel lonely.  Not if I honestly believe in God.  Because the true belief in Him would allow me to believe He is ALWAYS with me, meaning I am never alone.  When no one else is there, He is, ALWAYS.

Something I have learned over the years, friends come and go and family may not always be around.  It happens.  It's life.  Loneliness is a state of mind, not a state of being.  Only I can control that feeling and I want to stop feeling lonely.  So... my goal and plan to reach it:

GOAL:

To not feel lonely, even if/when everyone in my life is not around.

HOW: 

Daily devotions.  Whether I find them online or my Bible study, I want to spend at least 30 minutes each morning, quietly with Christ.  This will help remind me that even when no one else is there, He is.

Find enjoyment in my own company.  This is the hard one.  I don't dislike myself but I find that I am rather boring.  I have spent so much time being a mom, wife, student and friend that I have forgotten what I enjoy doing, on my own.  I have also been met with the fear that if I start to enjoy life too much I might upset someone.  So, while I would love to consider the feelings of family and friends, I need to be able to find my own happiness, outside of everyone else.  I can't control how other people feel, I can only begin to take control of my own feelings.

More date nights with the handsome man I call my husband!  We get so lost in our lives as parents and adults that we tend for forget that we still need each other.  We forget that the time we can spend together is important, not only for our relationship but for us as individuals.  

Find more people here that have similar interests.  I have met some really awesome ladies here, and have been extremely grateful for them!  But like most people, I like to have different groups of friends with different interests that are similar to my own.   I need to get out more, meet more people and begin more friendships with women who share interests, when I figure out what I am interested in.


Over the last year and a half, I have learned a lot about the people around me and about myself.  I have especially learned a lot about God and how life can be when I trust in Him and welcome Him into my life.  I have to have this trust in Him as a friend as well.  Not just over my life, in control of it, but as the closest friend I have.  I have to begin trusting that no matter how physically alone I may be, I am never alone as long as I allow Him in my life.