Being a Mommy!

Being a mommy is the absolute most amazing part of my life! I have two amazing little boys that just light up my world and make every day a new adventure! We have good and bad days, but no two days are ever the same with them! I never truly understood the amount of unconditional love I was able to have for anyone until I had them! And I truly can't (but can at the same time) wait to see what our future has in store for our family!

When I first met my husband, I was still legally married and he had JUST gotten a divorce. So, when my divorce was final and we began dating, it wasn't really all THAT serious. I was still considering moving back to FL because I knew I was getting out of the military within a couple of months and just didn't have much keeping me in TX. So, we planned a trip to FL and VA to meet each others families, and this would give me a chance to really see if moving back to FL was what I wanted. So, we go, have a good time and I was able to line up a temporary job in TX to get me through for a while til I made a final decision of what to do.

We arrived back to TX on a Sunday, I started working Monday, and it just so happened that Monday was also the day I found out I was pregnant. I am not even sure what made me take the test, just woke up and had a thought, and sure enough, I was. So, of course, I had doubts because I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. Excited was definitely my very last emotion. I was more scared and nervous about it, and excited came in probably about the time I felt him move for the first time.

I remember it clearly. I was in FL for my baby shower, and I was in the car with my best friend Laura. We were pulling up to Winn-Dixie. At first, I thought it was just a little bit of gas, because that was kinda how it felt. But after a few minutes, I felt it again, and it was more like feeling someone poking you from the inside. At that very moment, I got excited, and the rest of the pregnancy was pretty great. Then, giving birth to him changed me forever.

My labor was pretty easy. I was induced 5 days after my due date due to a small medical concern after having some slight bleeding. I was told that I could be there anywhere from 12-36+ hours in labor, that being induced normally took a long time. So, I got the epidural and things were pretty easy going. Well, they were wrong. About 6 1/2 hours after they started the pitocen, he was born. They immediately laid him on my stomach, and from the moment I saw him I was in love with him!

He had the perfect little face, hands, feet, everything was just perfect! I knew right then that I wanted to have more. I never expected to have that immediate connection with him because the majority of my pregnancy I felt so disconnected, but it was definitely one of the best moments of my life!

Six months later, I decided it was time to start trying again. It took about 5 months, but when I found out I was pregnant again, I had all the same emotions as the first time, only I was excited from the start. I worried that I wouldn't feel the same way about it this time around since I was so excited the whole pregnancy, but I worried for no reason. When my second son was born, again, it was instant love. I could actually feel the love in my just grow and instead of having to share it, there was just more of it!

To this day, I look at them and can't imagine my life without them! Their smiles are priceless, their hugs are heart warming and their "I love you" is enough to melt anyone's soul. Their personalities are so different, yet they are so much alike. Darien is a clown, loves to goof off and get people's attention. Adrien is more quiet and reserved, and is my little cuddle bug. Though, they both love to play outside and jump around and just be boys!

Being a mommy is so much more than I ever expected, but in a way that I am so thankful that I was given the the blessing of getting to be one! They have bad days, and sometimes I get stressed out, but there is nothing in this world they could do to ever make me love them any less. Everyday my love for them grows, and everyday I learn at least 1 more thing from them. They are the center of my universe, and will continue to love them for the rest of my life! Its just awesome being a mommy!