"Differences"

As he grows, his differences become more noticeable.  Well, at least to everyone else.  There have been many more questions lately, about those differences.  So, I am writing an all-inclusive response to all the questions that have been asked to hopefully answer those who may be afraid to ask.

The biggest question is where Jonathen got his curly hair.  The other most asked is why he is a different color than his brothers, which is most often asked by young children.  The all-inclusive question is "why is he different?".  Well, depending on the age of the person asking, my answers vary some.

For the young children who ask, I will kindly explain that God makes all babies different and that Jonathen was created to be unique.

However, I am still at a loss as to what to say to teenagers.  Only because I can't always know their maturity level and/or what their parents would deem appropriate for them.  So, for now, I think the basic answer of "his differences are those that God allow and we accept them" will suffice.  If they want more information, or the parents know and feel they can know, then by all means, tell them.  I don't hide it, no need for anyone to do that either.

Now, for the adults who ask.  I think part of the problem is that I assume people read my blog if they are a friend on facebook.  I need to get out of the habit of assuming this.  It seems that many people on my friends list are still completely unaware.  So, when I get asked, I actually feel embarrassed for them.  I am not embarrassed or ashamed, which is why I can be open about it.  We have even agreed that we will not hide the truth from our children, as it is part of how our family was created.  

I was raped while under the influence of alcohol. The man responsible was a black man.  This is where Jonathen gets his "differences".  Though, it doesn't matter one bit, to us, because all we see is our child.  Filip and I have four children together, that's as simple as it is. I am not going into details here, you can check out my previous blogs if you would like to know the full story, but I will say that I have taken responsibility for my actions and am trying to live every day learning from those bad choices.  It made me realize how much I truly needed to lean on God and truly give him my life, not just bits and pieces of it.

I know that people are going to have their assumptions and own "beliefs" about what may or may not have happened.  I respect their right to that.  I also respect those who are willing to ask questions and at least respect my choices to take responsibility for my child and that I have since made changes in my life to make sure that nothing like that ever happens again.  I also hope that people have respect for my husband, who has supported me and been the most amazing man I could ever be blessed with, as well as the most amazing father that our 4 children could have been blessed with.

While some may not agree, we were blessed with a child who has strengthened us, our marriage and our family.  Jonathen is a blessing to our family and I can only pray that we are as much a blessing to him as he has been to us!