Dreams and Changes

A while back, when I first decided to allow God to lead my life, I was asked a question that made me think.  It made me question my faith, and honestly, made me lose sight of where I wanted to go.  But now, after having more time to think about it and after seeing what God has done in my life, I finally have an answer for myself.

Why would you give up the good things in your life for God?  Now some of you may be thinking that God gives us all the good things, and I agree, but consider where this question is coming from.  I liked to drink, flirt, and LOVED having attention.  I was still a bit wild, fearing that I would miss something if I didn't keep up with other people around me.

So, for me, this question was something that dragged me back down, made me question why I would choose God over all the fun I had in my life.  I wasn't ready to let go of that life yet, so the devil grabbed hold and dragged me back down.  Before I knew it my marriage was about to end (what I thought I wanted), I was again seeking attention elsewhere and then SMACK.  I woke up.  Well, I was actually asleep, but the dream I had was exactly what I needed.

          -       I had teenage boys, both being popular and girl crazy.  They come home from school with  a girl, fighting over her.  She had been flirting with them both, they both liked her but couldn't agree on who would get to "hang out" with her.  So, Mom to the rescue.  I asked them if they loved each other, to which they of course answered "Yes".  So I explained to them that when you truly love someone, you should be willing to give up something you want to keep something you need.  They looked at each other, nodded in agreement and then kicked her out. 

That may not be too telling of a dream for some, but that said a lot to me.  And reminded me that I may want certain things right now but what I NEED is God.  So, I prayed.  Apologizing for my actions and turning my back on him, and asking for his help in getting my life back in order.  First thing, my marriage.

Obviously everything has worked out, that was 3 years ago.  My marriage is going wonderfully and my walk with Christ continues.  I've had a rough past, one that I am not proud of anymore, but I am growing and learning about how to be a better person than I was.  Taking God's word and understanding that he gave  up his life (something I am sure he would have liked to keep) for me, so I can give up the things I think I want now and let him guide me to the things I need!

I still get judged for my past.  By people who knew me and by people who find out.  That is okay.  I wasn't a good person and I can understand why it would take someone time to trust who I am trying to become.  It happens.  But I rest assured knowing that God has forgiven me and has a plan.  Whether his plan is to use my past to help someone else, or whether it is just to make me that much more obedient because I've been at the worst, I am ready to find out! 

His blessings are many if you allow him to bless you!  He can change your life if you let him.  I did, will you?