My Children, My Choice

I recently read a blog, one not even worth sharing, that degraded moms.  Basically saying that motherhood is average and not worth much.  It even went on to say that women like Beyonce should be looked up to because she has other people raise her children while she continues her career.  And quite frankly, that disgusts me and makes me worry for the young girls that may think she is right.  She said quite a lot about moms and how they give up greatness for kids and that they do not accomplish anything important with their lives because of their kids.

You know, before I was a mom, it was easy for me to judge the women who decided to bear children and stay home to raise them.  I didn't understand why women wanted to give up their lives to have kids, it didn't look like much fun.  It was something I didn't want and didn't understand why anyone did.  Plus, like this girl expressed, I felt it was what was expected, and I didn't want to do what I was expected to do.

So, when I first found out I was pregnant with Darien, I was sad because I felt like my life was about to end.  I couldn't help but to think of all the things I would miss out on now that there was a child in the picture.  How could I give up my life?

It wasn't immediate, but I did learn quickly that I was so immensely wrong in my thinking.  It began with the first smile, then the first coo and all the way through the first step.  I was simply amazed with the life I had created and couldn't wait to have another baby!  Being a mom DID change everything about my life, but in a way I never expected.

I started to realize that the truly important thing in life was to raise a generation that would keep our country going.  To raise a generation of amazing and loving young people that would run our schools, hospitals and even government offices.  After all, if no one had children, who would take over when we are too old, ill, or dead?

Another thing I realized, after working most of the first year and having Darien in daycare, was that I didn't want someone else raising my kids.  I wanted to raise them myself.  It was then that we decided, as a couple, that I would be a stay at home mom.  And it was the best decision I ever made.

I didn't have children because I was lonely.  I didn't have children to have someone to take care of me when I am old (though it would be nice).  I didn't have children to clean my house.  I didn't have children for any reason other than simply loving them and wanting them.  And there is no other reason necessary.

I could have chosen not to become a mom.  I could have chosen to work outside the home and chase dreams that were of very little importance.  I could have chosen to pay other people to raise my kids for me while I still chased selfishness (and I am not by any means calling women like Beyonce selfish).  I could have done anything else that I wanted to do.  But what I REALLY decided that I WANT to do is be a mom.

Now, some people may agree with the girl who wrote that horrid blog and believe that what I do is unimportant.  But remember, when you are old and don't have any children there to help you or care for you, it will be the rest of us moms' children who are handling your pay, health care and other things that you will be relying on.  So, deem me unimportant and pray that my children won't repay you with that sentiment later.

Honestly, I have to wonder why woman go to war with each other over these things?  Why are we quick to judge the other side without considering that maybe they truly enjoy where they are?  I think it's great that women choose not to have children and chase their dreams!  I think it's wonderful that women work outside the home to help provide for their family.  I think it's simply amazing that women make their own choices and do what they do no matter what others think of them.  I just think we could do that without trashing each other.