His Love and Forgiveness!

Honesty.  Whew.  It's scary.

I've been writing about things that I've never told anyone.  Some of the things I never even told my closest friends.  And I am a little fearful of people changing their opinion of me or judging me, but it's honestly been very freeing to get it out.

Sharing these parts of me is far from easy.  And if I thought that I could heal and keep them to myself, I probably would.  However, I know that healing is about being honest about who I am, and these things are part of who I am.  Ugly or not, every part of my past has helped get me to where I am now, and I am blessed to be here.

One of the things I am really noticing is that I no longer think about my past and feel sorry for myself.  I don't want to sit around and have a pity party because life was difficult or because I made some extremely poor choices.  What I feel now is empathy for all those people out there who have gone through any of the things I have, or worse.  I don't want to cry for myself, I want to cry for others who haven't found the healing and love that I've found.

God is simply AMAZING.  My history is tarnished, my past is ugly and dark in many spots.  I treated myself and others like nothing more than objects and took advantage of the niceness of others.  Yet, God still accepts me and forgives me.  He doesn't see me for my past, He sees His child who needs love and discipline.  He sees that I am human and that I require forgiveness. 

God has changed my life.  I went from a broken young girl with no hope to a woman who now won't get out of my bed without hope, and I am being mended by His unfailing love!

Psalms 71: 5-8 says:

O Lord, you alone are my hope.

I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.

Yes, you have been with me from birth;

from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.

No wonder I am always praising you!

My life is an example to many,

because you have been my strength and protection.

That is why I can never stop praising you;

I declare your glory all day long.

My life only is what it is because of God!  I will praise His name for the rest of my days for that reason!!!