Avocado Surprises

Some of you may laugh at this... and quite honestly, I get it, BUT... I had never tried avocado before outside of guacamole once or twice that I didn't care for.  So, I just assumed I would like it in any form.  However, this journey has me trying new things.  Avocado is just the beginning of what I will be trying!

Today, I decided to go ahead and get some groceries and start eating better, even before my group offically begins.  Avocado was one of the main things on my list.  I was worried... almost scared to even try it.  I even almost put them back before leaving the store.  Yep... trying new things is not exactly what I am known for over here. But, I got them... and I am glad I did!

After asking a friend the best way to try it, she recommended on toast with tomatoes and a little salt and pepper.  Okay... It didn't sound very appitizing to me, but let's do it! 

I mashed up 1/4 avocado, sliced 1/4 of a large tomato, and put it on toasted multi grain sandwich thins.  I held my breath and took the first bite.  WOW!!!  It was incredibly yummy!  To say I was surprised is an understatement.  I ate 2 of them, along with the 2 1/2 extra slices of tomato on the plate, and feel extremely full!  That will definitely be a go-to lunch.  Super easy, fast, and very filling!

And if you are still laughing at me because you already knew avocado was amazing, I am open to good recipes using it! 

My Body is HIS Temple

It has been an incredibly long time since I have written anything! Almost an entire year.  Whew! What a crazy year it has been, too!

Nothing major has occurred, just a lot of little things.  The biggest thing is that my sister moved in with us!  It has been a hard adjustment for everyone, but I think we are getting along pretty well considering we usually fight within days while visiting.  However, it hasn't gone exactly as we had hoped and may be coming to an end in the spring.  I am a little sad about that, as I really do enjoy having family with us, but I understand her needs and those not being met here.

Another thing that happened two weeks ago was I had my tonsils removed.  While it was a necessary procedure for my constant illnesses, it has been a rough two weeks.  The only good thing to come of it was losing some weight and finally reaching a number I thought was out of reach.  That little bit - though not just a little, almost 15lbs - has rebooted my desire to get back into a healthier state of living.  I used to be fit.  Having kids has rocked my body, though it has really just been an excuse to be lazy and eat like crap.  I am going on a journey to try to undo all the crap I have done!

Next week will begin a 4-week fitness and health change (I am starting now, but the group I am starting doesn't start til next week) with a friend that has inspired me through her progress and lifestyle changes.  I know it isn't going to be easy, and I am going to need my friends and family to support and encourage me as I go through it.  I will be trying a lot of foods I have never eaten before, and possibly eating things I don't really care for.  But, I am willing to give this a try to take charge of my health for once in my life!

I want to share that journey with you.  I want to share my progress, my struggles, and my success!  I hope you will stick with me through it!  

My body is God's temple!  This is my journey to caring for that temple the way I should!

What Our Homeschool Family Needs

I see all the facebook statuses. You know, the ones of the kids dressed really cute for their first day of school.  I see the comments the parents make about being so glad the day has finally come for their kids to go back to school.  YAY!!!  I am so glad everyone is excited to go back to school!!!

Then you have homeschoolers.  You know, the ones that take back to school pictures in their pjs, sitting at the kitchen table or on the living room floor.  Everyone so excited to get back to it!  YAY!!!  I am so glad everyone is excited to go back to school!!!

But then, you see the comments from both sides about how they don't understand the other parents decision.  Homeschool moms can't understand the excitement to get rid of your kids all day... public school parents can't understand the need to be with your kids all day.  Though there are many reasons to not understand the other side, that seems to be the most of what I see and hear.

Then, you have people just flat out disagree with homeschool.  They think the kids NEED to be around other kids all day to be happy.  They think they need to learn from another person.  They even think that mom simply needs a break from kids and sending them to school is the perfect way to get that break.  

I can't speak for all homeschool families, but I can speak for my own... 

I do NOT need a break from my kids every single day.  Nor do my kids NEED to be around other kids all day.  Nor do they need to learn from another person.  What my kids need is love, attention, and someone to care about their education.  I do all of that, PLUS SOME!  

"But what about socialization"? Oh please... have you beed to a school recently? Tell me when, exactly, do they get to socialize?  Recess?  Well, that's only if the parents didn't forget to sign their folder and they are made to sit out that day.  Lunch? Try again, if it gets too loud they are then forced to sit in silence.  Socialization happens when they socialize... not just because they happened to sit in a room full of silent people.

"But you don't have a degree, what could you possibly teach them"?  Now, this question bothers me.  So, I need a degree to teach my own kids? Should we start requiring this at first sign of pregnancy?  I mean, we begin teaching our children at birth: how to sit, stand, walk, talk, eat, etc.  Then, we teach them to count, say the alphabet, and often times read.  Yeah, let's start requiring parents to have a degree to teach their kids...

Ok, so now you see the issue with that... great... but still think to teach any kind of "formal" education I should have a degree?   What if I told you I began to get my degree in education.  I have taken both lower and upper level courses, because I was pursuing my teaching degree.  Would that change your mind?  GREAT!  Now... what if I said that it was those classes that were exactly the reason I chose to homeschool?  Education isn't what it used to be.  I promise you that.  There are some really amazing teachers that do care with everything they have... but then there are these standards that could make any teacher overwhelmed and give up, even on her students.  

Plus, something I learned in my fancy education classes is that children are 98% more likely to do well in their studies when they are given 1-on-1 attention, feel loved, and feel safe in their learning environment.  I feel that I can provide that for my kids, and schools just can't.  

Now... I write all of this with purpose.  I know that many still won't agree with our decision to homeschool.  That's fine.  But I am here, asking for you to at least support us through our journey.  We are going to have bad days.  We will have hard days.  We will have days that we get nothing done, but we will also have days we get more done than planned.  We will butt heads, we will get frustrated and want to give up... and we may even have days that someone locks themselves in the bathroom to cry (me most likely).  But we will also have amazing days, days that we learn something amazing, we do something amazing... or days we just all get along, days learning seems easy... and days that we will be so excited to tell everyone about!

And, it's through all of it... good and bad, that we need support.  We don't need to be told that sending them to school would take away the stress (because it really won't, it will just be a different kind of stress), we don't need to be told we brought it on ourselves by choosing homeschool, we don't need to be reminded of our options.  We are fully aware of our options... we just don't consider them as options that fit our family.

We didn't choose to homeschool because we thought it would be easy.  In fact, that would be exactly the reason NOT to homeschool... IT'S HARD... I have to make sacrifices... but, I love them and want the best for them, and I just can't see our school system being the best for them.  I want them to grow, learn, and develop the way THEY need to, not the way a handul of people says most children do so all children should. 


What we do need is to be reminded that we chose this out of our love for our children.  That we chose this to given them the best possible opportunity to learn, grow, and develop the way they can do it best!  That the sacrifices we make today will pay off when our children are grown!  We need to be reminded of the good, the why's, and the desired outcome.  

So, disagree if you must.  But, please just support and love us through it.  It's all we ask for!

Flawed Marriage

I have a flawed marriage... because I have a flawed husband... And he has a flawed wife.

And the sad thing about it is not that we have a flawed marriage... it's that people would actually encourage us to end it.

What happened to the days when people fought to keep the people they cared about?  What happened to marriage being FOREVER, thru all that life brings (good times and bad, sickness and health)... you know... what happened to actually standing by the vows taken on wedding day?

Society as a whole has damaged marriage.  Many try to blame gay marriage for the decline, but marriage was long damaged before that even became something that could be damaging. 

People get married for money, for status, for benefits... for so many reasons other than commitment. Then, when life happens, they run out and divorce.  So, if you ask me, the damage to marriage isn't a lack of love... it's a lack of commitment to love.  

And I speak from experience...

It's funny when I hear people say "I just fell out of love with him/her".  Heck, I was one of the people saying that.  I married my first husband fast, and left him even faster.  I used the line "I just don't love him anymore".  However, the issue wasn't that I had fallen out of love,  I just didn't commit to loving him.  

So, it shouldn't come as any surprise that I nearly left my current (and last) husband when "I just didn't love him anymore".  Though, again, it wasn't that I didn't love him, I just didn't commit to loving him.  

See, love is an action... not an involuntary feeling.  Love is something we do, a choice... it is not something that just happens.  So, marriage requires love to be a choice to commit to loving your spouse, even when- especially when- you don't "feel" like it.  

Society has said "to heck with commitment, do what makes YOU happy and follow your heart".  Well, my heart (feelings) lied to me... and had I followed it, I would be divorced a second time... and most likely not very happy.  Thank God I didn't follow society's logic and committed to love my husband, even when I didn't "feel" like it...

I won't say that our marriage is all sunshine and rainbows.  We definitely face storms.  But, because of our commitment to each other, we don't allow our momentary feelings decide the outcome of our marriage during those storms.  We commit, we choose to love, and we choose to stick it out thru those storms. So that when the sunshine and rainbows are out, we can enjoy them together!  

If you are reading this and have felt, or are feeling, like you "just don't love" your spouse anymore, I encourage you to change your commitment to them.  Stop committing only to loving them in the good times... Start committing to loving them in the bad, and worse, times too.  Show your commitment by daily reminders, thru your actions.  It won't be over-night, but if BOTH of you are TRULY committed, I promise things will get better and you will begin to "feel" that love again. 

I have a flawed marriage... And we have never been more in love than we are today, because we both KNOW we are committed to each other!
 

Early Intervention NEEDS Our Intervention

I am a mother of five children, two of which have used Early Intervention services due to developmental delays.  This program was a substantial part of their learning and development.  It was also very important in my own learning of how to better work with my children!  It's a program I am forever thankful for.  Here are Adrien and Jonathen's stories...

Adrien was 18 months old and barely saying mama or dada, his temper tantrums were unlike anything I had ever seen before, he refused to let me leave him anywhere, he didn't play with other kids, and he just wasn't good at any kind of social behaviors that he should have been doing at that age. 

When he was evaluated, the original thought was that he had Autism.  So, we created a plan to help him, help us and begin better relationship with him.  Though, after just a couple months of working with his therapist, we saw astronomical improvements in his language skills and social behaviors.  Though, he still needed a lot of help in specific areas.  However, we lost services because of funding.  We were in Germany.  It was good that he just so happened to qualify to attend the Sure Start preschool the following year.

Now, we have Jonathen.  After an illness when he was nearing his first birthday, he regressed and struggled to regain the skills he once had.  He had started to say mama and dada, but quit after that.  He had started to walk, but then had trouble crawling after that.  Again, I thought Autism, especially the way it seemed to happen.  At 18 months old, he still wasn't able to say basic words and barely even did much babble. He was still struggling to walk again and just didn't do what other kids his age (or even kids much younger) were doing.  Early Intervention came in and, once again, helped us put the pieces together.  His progress was VERY SLOW.  I did begin to wonder, after a few months, if he would ever hit some of the milestones we set goals for (and believe me, our goals were very small for him).

He received physical therapy for a year, but did catch up in that time to at least not require services.  However, his speech/language ability was still largely delayed after a year and is currently receiving services. And even now, almost 2 years of services, he still really needs it.  But, apparently they are no longer being funded.

It's good for us that he goes into the school system soon, but other kids are not so lucky.  Kids are losing their educational assistance through Early Intervention because they don't have funding...???  Why in the world does this incredibly important program not have funding?

I don't know who is at fault, and frankly, I don't care.  We just need a solution.  Families NEED a solution - a solution that gets this program funded and back running to assist the families with children who need services.

We need to be the voice for these children that can't speak for themselves.  We need to stand up and let the state know that our children deserve better! 

If you are interested in helping this fight, here are some pages to visit and find out more about what you can do to help support this fight:

I NEED EI -- Southern IL Action - https://www.facebook.com/groups/896483647092155/

I Need EI - https://www.facebook.com/ineedei?fref=ts

Illinois Developmental Therapy Association - https://www.facebook.com/Illinois-Developmental-Therapy-Association-311153305572207/timeline/

Families, Friends & Fans of IL EI Children - https://www.facebook.com/illinoiseichildren

I Support Illinois Early Intervention - https://www.facebook.com/groups/isupportei/


JOIN THE FIGHT!  FOR THE CHILDREN!    

Being Hidden is a Compliment!

I recently learned of a few people, completely unknown to each other, that have shared that they blocked my Facebook posts from their news feed.  They will go check randomly to see what I am up to but they do not want to see my posts in their news feed.  Now, usually this would bother me.  But when I was aware of the reason, I took it as a compliment!

You see... there is this guy that changed my life and I like to share things about Him on my page... His name is Jesus... and there are people out there who don't believe as I do and wish not to see those things.  And that is okay.  But if I am posting enough about Him to impact a person enough to hide my posts from their feed, I smile about that!

I do wish everyone believed in Him, and I pray for those who don't, but we don't have to have the same beliefs to stay connected.  I am glad that they did care enough not to completely delete me, but I am also glad that it speaks to the things I post!

I want my posts to be a true representation of who I am, what I believe and WHO my life is lived for.  I try very hard to share His work in my life, just to be a testimony to those who may not believe, or those who do but do not trust.  I want others to see what He has done in our lives, even if it means being hidden by some.

I used to feel hurt that my beliefs would cause people to hide my posts, or even delete me completely (that has happened too).  I used to wonder if I should just keep things to myself and not share about my faith.  I used to worry that sharing too much would make me seem like a "Bible thumper".  

Well, now I smile and feel blessed that I am being seen that way.  I am not longer worried about whether I should keep my faith to myself or what someone else may think of it!  I am proud to be God's daughter, and proud to share about how He has blessed me!  So, I will smile and accept being hidden as a compliment!

I don't want to be a leader, I want to be His servant!

Ever since I learned about (and really understood) Celebrate Recovery, I have felt an immense pull toward the ministry.  And not just in an attendance sort of way, but in a leadership sort of way.  I can't exactly explain it, but when I say I've felt very strongly about being part of it, I mean in a HUGE way.  Well, it appears as though God is showing me that path now.

After bringing it up to our home church's lead pastor, Filip and I are in heavy prayer about beginning the Celebrate Recovery program!!!  This prospect is incredibly exciting!  Though, I will admit, I have some nerves happening as well!

Though, after a very intense and powerful message at church this morning, I am reminded that I should not have anxiety about it.  Because God is working, and will work, in this!  Celebrate Recovery is HIS ministry!  Something a very wise person said to me the other night, and the motto I will remember and strive to stand by -

God is the leader of Celebrate Recovery, I am His servant.  

I will be in a place to serve others through their recovery 

and to help them find their healing in Jesus Christ!

I don't want to be a leader, I want to be a servant!  And though my title would be leader, I know that my true position is to be a servant to Christ!  I will want to be His arms and legs, to speak His words with His heart, to do His will in everything!  So, I will do my best as His servant to lead others to Him!

My story, our story... one that I pray will be used to encourage those who find themselves sitting in front of us at meetings.  I am so thankful to the work God has done in our lives, especially now that we will get to share that in a much more powerful way!

I am asking that our friends be in prayer with us as we step out in faith to begin such a wonderful ministry!  We know God is here, walking in front of us, guiding our path!  We know He will do the work He needs done!  

And a major THANK YOU to those who have already been in prayer with us!  We appreciate all the faithful people in our lives!  But we have so many faithful people because we have such a faithful God!  What an amazing God He is!

Nestled in God's hands!

How do I do this?  How could I possibly handle it?  Will I have all of my hair at the end?  Can I really care for 5 kids, on my own, without the husband, for 6 full weeks?  OH MY... Talk about stressful thinking and worry like no other.

A few weeks ago my husband was told he would be going to a class in another state for 6 weeks.  Now, some people will say "oh, it's ONLY 6 weeks" while others have said "woah, 6 weeks?"... and here I am thinking both.  Yes, it's ONLY 6 weeks, but it's also 6 weeks away from the man I love... alone with all 5 of our children... without the normal assistance and companionship I get from him.  That makes 6 weeks an awful long time.

And to be honest, I get kinda frustrated when people say that.  I know it's only a short time, especially in terms of military duties.  But, we haven't had much of this.  And the last time he was gone, we had a terrible, horrible situation happen.  So... yeah... 6 weeks, to me, is pretty intense right now.

So, I was pretty much freaking out.  I am a worrier, big time.  I go through all the worst possible situations and then fear them happening to us.  I worry that I won't be able to handle it.  I worry about every.possible.thing.  And this brought tons of worry... Until...

A friend shared something the other morning, which just happened to be the last day he would be with us before leaving.  She posted about how her foster child was happy, even though her life situation is anything but good.  Here is what she said:

         "This morning started out with me seeking God's direction in several areas of my life. And as always, I was able to read some great truths from Jeremiah, Paul in Romans and from my daily devotional.

But I think the real truth came from the baby girl nestled by my side. She's our foster baby and had woken up early this morning, hungry and wet, and I had taken care of her needs. I'd snuggled her for awhile and then laid her beside me while I opened my bible and journal to read, write and pray. She'd been perfectly content, cooing, watching me, playing with my fingers, and looking up at me and knowing I'm the one who meets her needs. And then she quietly fell asleep.

But the truth of the matter is that her life is not so great right now. Yesterday we received bad news regarding her parents. It breaks my heart for this beautifully and perfectly created baby girl. From a human perspective, the future of her life is unknown and it doesn't look good. Yet she's content and she's happy. She trusts Scott and I and our boys. She's joyful and is doing exactly what a typical 5 month old should be doing.
And then I felt the Lord speaking to me that this is exactly how I should view 2015. I should view this year just as Baby V does. I have no idea what the new year holds but I can trust the One who can see into the future. I have no idea of the steep hills I'll have to climb or the valleys I'll have to endure but my Father will be there to walk with me. I'm not yet aware of my needs but I know who will meet all of them in Christ Jesus. Just like Baby V, this year is unknown and completely out of my hands. The only thing I can do is to be the child that God has created me to be, His child, and to place my trust in Him each day. And I have no doubt that I can look to Him to meet my needs, care for me and guide me. I'm so grateful for a loving Father who cares for His children."

Then it hit me.  Why was I worrying?  God's got this.  I don't know what the next 6 weeks have in store, but I know that God will take care of us through anything.  I do pray it's uneventful, but in the event we have something exciting happen, I know I have a dependable Father that will see us through.  And THAT is comforting.  

I also want to take the mindset through the rest of the year as well.  I don't know what is in the year ahead.  I know what plans we have, but I don't know what plans He has.  I just know that I can trust His plans, even not knowing them.  I want to feel the comfort of being nestled tightly to Him, knowing that He is taking care of my needs and that I can be happy there!

What is your mindset going to be for 2015?

The day Brinden joined our crew!

It started like any other day, except that it wasn't just any other day.  It was the day we would welcome our 5th son into our family!  And what an amazing day it was!

They handed him to me and I was just as in love with him as I was his brothers!  He was just perfect, and I knew that we chose the right name!!!  Brinden James was born at 5:01pm at a whopping 8lbs 11oz and was 20.5in long!  He was pure perfection!  

And, it helps that the journey of the day was a pretty awesome experience!  Aside from the wait we had in the morning, I was very pleased with my labor and delivery experience!

We arrived late, just a little after 8am.  It took them 30 minutes just to get us registered before we could go to our room.  Once we were in the room and I was changed and on the monitors, it was nearly 3 more hours before they even started getting things going.  Finally, they got things going just after 12pm and it was a fast ride!

So, quick timeline:

8:10am - arrive
8:40am - get in room
11:40am - start fluids
12:05pm - start pitocin
3:40pm - water broken
5:01pm - Brinden

I would say it was pretty quick!

Once I hit about 7cm, I was hurting - REALLY BAD.  I gave in and asked for an epidural.  Filip tried really hard to talk me out of it, but I was set that there was no way I could get through it without one.  Boy... what happened next was rather funny.

They came it and started to set me up.  As soon as he got everything in and ready, he gave me the test dose of medicine just to make sure it was working.  At that point, it was already too late.  Brinden was coming right then.  Pretty much, I went from 7cm to pushing in about 20 minutes because I sat up completely.  I should have known.

But, I only got the test dose of epidural, which was just enough to take a very minimal edge off while pushing.  I am kinda bummed that I gave in, but glad that I still got to experience what I did!

October 6th will now forever be a special day!  Because it was the day Brinden joined our crazy crew!

Five Boys? I'm Sorry... NOT!!!

Wow.  Sometimes that is all I can think.  Just WOW!

Finding out I was pregnant was so very exciting!  I couldn't wait to get home to even take the test, much less wait to tell my husband the exciting news!  I was grinning ear to ear, surprised that the people I was with didn't notice something was up.  But, none-the-less, I was ecstatic and felt extremely excited to be expecting a baby!

Now, if I told you that the experience above was my first pregnancy, you would - without a doubt - understand my excitement and even feel excited for me.  But, how would that change if I told you that it was the 6th pregnancy?  Would you still feel that excitement for me or would it be something else?  (and just quickly, it is my 6th pregnancy but will be my 5th child... I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2009).

So, honestly... I wonder how many people would still feel the crazy excitement knowing I was now expecting a 5th child as they would if I were expecting my 1st child.  However, judging by some of the comments I've heard, not many would be excited.  In fact, I think they'd feel sorry for me, or worried for me.  But I don't understand why.

My excitement was ridiculous when I found out!  It is actually hard to explain how excited and happy I felt seeing that second pink line show up!  Like I said, ear to ear grin, and felt like I would explode if I didn't share with my husband right away!

So, imagine my disappointment when I was met with less than exciting comments from people - people I didn't even know.  Once I started showing, which wasn't long, it began.  No matter where we were, people would see me out with my four kids and have their questions and comments.  It normally started with "are they all yours?"... to which I would answer "yes"... and then "wow, and you're having another? you really have your hands full".  

At first it wasn't too bad, but then I got some comments I wasn't so sure of.  Since I have all boys, people automatically assume I only got pregnant again to try for a girl.  So, of course when they hear I am having another boy the response is "oh, I'm sorry" or "wow, you really need a girl".  Though, I don't get it.

WHY?  Why is someone else sorry that I am having another boy?  And why do I NEED a girl?  I don't understand the need to feel sorry for me, or to tell me what I need.  What I NEED is people to be happy for me and to appreciate the gifts God has entrusted me with.

I used to think I would miss out on something by not having a girl.  Though, what I have come to realize is that I am not missing out on anything, I have more than enough of what I need!  I may not have that girl to dress up, paint nails and do manis and pedis with, but do I really NEED that?  Nope.  

What I do have is 5 amazing little guys who remind me each day the miracle of God's creations and love.  There is a reason God has entrusted these lives with us, and I have great joy in knowing that He chose us to love, nurture, and teach these boys so that they should one day return to His kingdom!  What a blessing it is to be so trusted by Him!

So, to those who think that having five children - five boys at that - is a curse, please keep those comments to yourself.  I will never feel ashamed or sad about it, and you shouldn't either.  My children, my young men, are not a curse!  They are blessings!  My hands my by full, but so is my heart!