Flawed Marriage

I have a flawed marriage... because I have a flawed husband... And he has a flawed wife.

And the sad thing about it is not that we have a flawed marriage... it's that people would actually encourage us to end it.

What happened to the days when people fought to keep the people they cared about?  What happened to marriage being FOREVER, thru all that life brings (good times and bad, sickness and health)... you know... what happened to actually standing by the vows taken on wedding day?

Society as a whole has damaged marriage.  Many try to blame gay marriage for the decline, but marriage was long damaged before that even became something that could be damaging. 

People get married for money, for status, for benefits... for so many reasons other than commitment. Then, when life happens, they run out and divorce.  So, if you ask me, the damage to marriage isn't a lack of love... it's a lack of commitment to love.  

And I speak from experience...

It's funny when I hear people say "I just fell out of love with him/her".  Heck, I was one of the people saying that.  I married my first husband fast, and left him even faster.  I used the line "I just don't love him anymore".  However, the issue wasn't that I had fallen out of love,  I just didn't commit to loving him.  

So, it shouldn't come as any surprise that I nearly left my current (and last) husband when "I just didn't love him anymore".  Though, again, it wasn't that I didn't love him, I just didn't commit to loving him.  

See, love is an action... not an involuntary feeling.  Love is something we do, a choice... it is not something that just happens.  So, marriage requires love to be a choice to commit to loving your spouse, even when- especially when- you don't "feel" like it.  

Society has said "to heck with commitment, do what makes YOU happy and follow your heart".  Well, my heart (feelings) lied to me... and had I followed it, I would be divorced a second time... and most likely not very happy.  Thank God I didn't follow society's logic and committed to love my husband, even when I didn't "feel" like it...

I won't say that our marriage is all sunshine and rainbows.  We definitely face storms.  But, because of our commitment to each other, we don't allow our momentary feelings decide the outcome of our marriage during those storms.  We commit, we choose to love, and we choose to stick it out thru those storms. So that when the sunshine and rainbows are out, we can enjoy them together!  

If you are reading this and have felt, or are feeling, like you "just don't love" your spouse anymore, I encourage you to change your commitment to them.  Stop committing only to loving them in the good times... Start committing to loving them in the bad, and worse, times too.  Show your commitment by daily reminders, thru your actions.  It won't be over-night, but if BOTH of you are TRULY committed, I promise things will get better and you will begin to "feel" that love again. 

I have a flawed marriage... And we have never been more in love than we are today, because we both KNOW we are committed to each other!