Having a baby can, and should be, a joyous time for women. Pregnancy is an amazing wonder and should be enjoyed. Though, I'm finding with this pregnancy that I am not nearly as happy with things as I was with my other pregnancies. It's not the pregnancy itself, rather the care I've received, or not received, however you want to look at it.
I realize that I had my other children at another hospital but does care really differ that greatly? I am still dealing with military providers, how come it seems so much different than what I had before? I understand that even with the military, different places will have different operating procedures, but the care I have received recently is definitely substandard and it's creating lots of stress and a lack of confidence in the people that should be caring for me and my baby.
A couple months ago I got sick. I had a head cold that lasted over 2 weeks. I'd made an appointment with my PCM but she said it was just something I needed to let pass. She'd also stated that she was uncomfortable prescribing medications to me because I was pregnant. So, a few nights later I went to the ER because I was getting worse, not better. They would have prescribed penicillin but I am allergic to it, so they were uncomfortable giving me anything else because, well, I am pregnant.
By that point I was fed up with being told that I couldn't get prescribed meds because I am pregnant. I was sick, have 2 other kids and a house to take care of. I can't afford to be sick for 2 weeks without some sort of help to make me better. I finally called the OB/GYN clinic to see if I could get in to see the midwife I'd seen for all my baby appointments. They, luckily, were able to get me in that day and she gave me some antibiotics and I was already feeling better by the next day. Just frustrating that I had to go through all of that to get helped.
Well, now, I am sick again. Head cold. I am stuffy, coughing and my left ear has so much pressure built up in it that it feels like I've stuffed an entire cotton ball in my ear. This started over the weekend, but since I had my baby appointment already scheduled for today, I decided to just wait to do anything and have them deal with it. Ha. I ask if she can look in my ear to make sure it's not an infection or to at least see what we can do about it. Her response was that they don't have that equipment because they don't look in many ears. REALLY?
Ok, I give credit to the fact that it is an OB clinic. They aren't looking at ears, but I know for a fact there is at least 1 room there that does have that equipment and she could have very easily made it possible for it to be checked. Instead I am being told to go to my PCM who isn't going to do anything for me anyway, I'll either end up in the ER or calling them back for an appointment when it could have all been handled today. I'm extremely disappointed and frustrated with this place.
At our last base, the hospital had 2 different OB clinics. They had the clinic that only saw pregnant women and the clinic that handled all other womanly appointments. Even if you weren't regularly seen in the women's clinic, before 20 weeks, that is where you'd go for any illness or issues during pregnancy, whether it was pregnancy related or not. This ensured that you were always seen by an OB and there was never the issue of a Dr feeling uncomfortable or unwilling to prescribe medications to a pregnant woman. I just think that is how it should be everywhere. While pregnant, whether the issue is pregnancy related or not, we should be seen by an OB or someone who has more knowledge of OB care than a general physician.
I'm beyond unhappy with this place as a whole, now adding this stress and irritation doesn't make me feel any better about being here. And with some of the stories I've heard about having babies here from other people, I am worried that my birth experience is going to be one huge nightmare. Just not the happy and joyous feeling of pregnancy I remember from when I was pregnant with my other kids. Hopefully things will either get better or my birth experience at least won't be horrible. If so, they are going to have a lot to listen to from me, that's for sure.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Disney in Paris and marriage!
Every time I travel, if it's more than a couple hours worth of a trip, I end up getting sick. Though, this weekend, feeling icky and sick wasn't enough to keep me from having one of the best weekends of my life!!! Getting to go to Disney and to see the Eiffel Tower was an experience that I'd do again, even with the cold.
Now, before I jump in to how the weekend was for us, understand that this was a trip hosted by, partially paid for and organized by the chapel on base. Only 40 families were chosen to attend and we did NOT pay nearly as much as we would have paid to do it on our own. That was the reason we wanted to go. Something to do for little money. Anyway, part of going was attending marriage seminars (very short ones that in no way interfered with our getting to experience everything we were supposed to) that were definitely informational and funny!
So, Friday morning we arrive at the chapel to sign in and get going. There was a mini seminar before taking off and by 10am we were well on our way! The bus ride was pretty smooth and the kids did great! We stopped for lunch in France somewhere, and let me say, the food was pretty good. I just had the chicken and potatoes while Fil and the kids ate pretty light. Then, around 4 we arrived at the hotel. And, I must say, I was slightly surprised at where we were staying after paying such a little amount.
That evening we had another seminar after having dinner. Luckily, the speaker was funny and the way he passed on the message, it wasn't something that made it a pain to have to do.
Saturday morning we had breakfast and then a short seminar before starting our day! It was so exciting going to Disney with the family! Though it was crazy crowded and lines were stupid long, we had a great time! Kids enjoyed seeing all the characters they got to see and Darien seemed to especially love the crepes! Yes, instead of selling funnel cakes at the stands, they were selling crepes.
And, something I really need to get used to is that Europeons don't wait around for you to decide what you're doing. They are fast-paced and let nothing get in their way. It seems a bit rude to us Americans, but it's just their way. So, lots of that in this very crowded park. Thankfully there were no trampled kids and everyone had a wonderful time. We did, however, lose our backpack that had some changes of clothes, diapers and other little items we'd taken with us. Thankfully the important stuff was in my purse so nothing of true worth/value was lost. It was all-in-all one the of best days for us as a family!
Then, Sunday was just as awesome! We had another short seminar in the morning after breakfast then were on our way to downtown Paris!
We decided to go see the Eiffel Tower (we had the option of that or the Louvre).
We made it a pretty chill day so we didn't go far from the tower. We hit up a small place for lunch nearby and did light shopping and rest the rest of the time. It was GREAT! Though, next time we go to Paris, not so much chill-ness will be had. There is so much I want to see and there just wasn't enough time this trip. Though, we wanted to see the Eiffel Tower and we got to see that, so either way it was well worth it!
Overall, especially for what we paid, this was just an amazing trip! Between the chapel paying for a portion and the husbands group paying a portion and us paying just what was left, this trip basically cost us hardly a thing. We were able to spend money and enjoy our time there rather than pinching because of how much it cost to get there. That really was a great thing for us!
Plus, the marriage seminars were actually informational and helpful. We learned quite a bit that we both are hoping to incorporate into our marriage and life. Plus, the speaker was making jokes and really just put the message out there in a way that was easy to understand and fun at the same time. It wasn't someone preaching at us or making us feel like bad people for having done things the way we have, just gave tips and ideas of how to make things better. All the while explaining why marriage is the way it is. Good stuff!
The kids also were so well behaved. I was worried with all the traveling to get there that we'd have cranky kids. Or because of being so busy all weekend that they'd get irritated and act out. We had hardly any issues at all. Adrien had a few times that he became fussy but mostly it was after being outside, stuck in a stroller and/or hungry. Other than that, they were fantastic and had a great time!
Fil and I also got to have dinner with other adults and no children. It was a nice evening out. Though, with that dinner, and throughout the entire weekend, I learned some pretty useful things that I need to remember next time we travel...
1. I get sick so medicines are necessary to take with us
2. I am such a picky eater that I really need to take more foods that can substitute meals
3. Some places, even when THEY realize they've messed up your food, you don't get new food, they only apologize for it.
3. I do not like king prawns
4. I do like fish
5. Big Mac's in Europe are made much neater than in the US, though I think I prefer a sloppy big mac.
6. Marriage takes work, but taking vacations together makes you see what you've missed the rest of the time.
7. My husband and children really are the most awesome people I know and I can't wait for our next vacation!!!
Now, before I jump in to how the weekend was for us, understand that this was a trip hosted by, partially paid for and organized by the chapel on base. Only 40 families were chosen to attend and we did NOT pay nearly as much as we would have paid to do it on our own. That was the reason we wanted to go. Something to do for little money. Anyway, part of going was attending marriage seminars (very short ones that in no way interfered with our getting to experience everything we were supposed to) that were definitely informational and funny!
So, Friday morning we arrive at the chapel to sign in and get going. There was a mini seminar before taking off and by 10am we were well on our way! The bus ride was pretty smooth and the kids did great! We stopped for lunch in France somewhere, and let me say, the food was pretty good. I just had the chicken and potatoes while Fil and the kids ate pretty light. Then, around 4 we arrived at the hotel. And, I must say, I was slightly surprised at where we were staying after paying such a little amount.
That evening we had another seminar after having dinner. Luckily, the speaker was funny and the way he passed on the message, it wasn't something that made it a pain to have to do.
Saturday morning we had breakfast and then a short seminar before starting our day! It was so exciting going to Disney with the family! Though it was crazy crowded and lines were stupid long, we had a great time! Kids enjoyed seeing all the characters they got to see and Darien seemed to especially love the crepes! Yes, instead of selling funnel cakes at the stands, they were selling crepes.
And, something I really need to get used to is that Europeons don't wait around for you to decide what you're doing. They are fast-paced and let nothing get in their way. It seems a bit rude to us Americans, but it's just their way. So, lots of that in this very crowded park. Thankfully there were no trampled kids and everyone had a wonderful time. We did, however, lose our backpack that had some changes of clothes, diapers and other little items we'd taken with us. Thankfully the important stuff was in my purse so nothing of true worth/value was lost. It was all-in-all one the of best days for us as a family!
Then, Sunday was just as awesome! We had another short seminar in the morning after breakfast then were on our way to downtown Paris!
We decided to go see the Eiffel Tower (we had the option of that or the Louvre).
We made it a pretty chill day so we didn't go far from the tower. We hit up a small place for lunch nearby and did light shopping and rest the rest of the time. It was GREAT! Though, next time we go to Paris, not so much chill-ness will be had. There is so much I want to see and there just wasn't enough time this trip. Though, we wanted to see the Eiffel Tower and we got to see that, so either way it was well worth it!
Overall, especially for what we paid, this was just an amazing trip! Between the chapel paying for a portion and the husbands group paying a portion and us paying just what was left, this trip basically cost us hardly a thing. We were able to spend money and enjoy our time there rather than pinching because of how much it cost to get there. That really was a great thing for us!
Plus, the marriage seminars were actually informational and helpful. We learned quite a bit that we both are hoping to incorporate into our marriage and life. Plus, the speaker was making jokes and really just put the message out there in a way that was easy to understand and fun at the same time. It wasn't someone preaching at us or making us feel like bad people for having done things the way we have, just gave tips and ideas of how to make things better. All the while explaining why marriage is the way it is. Good stuff!
The kids also were so well behaved. I was worried with all the traveling to get there that we'd have cranky kids. Or because of being so busy all weekend that they'd get irritated and act out. We had hardly any issues at all. Adrien had a few times that he became fussy but mostly it was after being outside, stuck in a stroller and/or hungry. Other than that, they were fantastic and had a great time!
Fil and I also got to have dinner with other adults and no children. It was a nice evening out. Though, with that dinner, and throughout the entire weekend, I learned some pretty useful things that I need to remember next time we travel...
1. I get sick so medicines are necessary to take with us
2. I am such a picky eater that I really need to take more foods that can substitute meals
3. Some places, even when THEY realize they've messed up your food, you don't get new food, they only apologize for it.
3. I do not like king prawns
4. I do like fish
5. Big Mac's in Europe are made much neater than in the US, though I think I prefer a sloppy big mac.
6. Marriage takes work, but taking vacations together makes you see what you've missed the rest of the time.
7. My husband and children really are the most awesome people I know and I can't wait for our next vacation!!!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
What a week, soon to end with Euro Disney!
What a week and it's only Wednesday. We've had the sickness running through here again, one by one getting us all. It started Friday night and Saturday with Adrien, Sunday night and Monday with me and today Darien has something going on. Thankfully Adrien and I only had some 24-hr bug or something, but Darien has a fever that is coming and going without meds. He is fighting something off, and hopefully his body wins the battle.
This weekend we are heading to Paris! We are going to Euro Disney on Saturday and getting a choice between the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre on Sunday. It's too bad we can't be there longer to really just see it all but there are definitely plans to return to Paris and to make it a couple of days worth of trip! I just can't wait to see what Euro Disney is all about and experience this with our family.
Darien is super excited. He tries to play it off like he doesn't care if he goes or not, but the expressions and questions are all it takes to show how much he can't wait until we get in the car and finally say we are on our way! I should him the website for Disney and his face just lit up, brighter than Christmas. He even asks us every time we get in the car if we are going there yet. We've started showing him on the calendar and he's grasping more that we still have another whole day at home first. But it's awesome that he's getting so excited and doesn't have any clue what is in store!
Adrien still just doesn't understand it. He knows we are going somewhere and will ask about it, but not as exciting for him just yet. Though, I am sure once we get there he will be like a kid in a toy store! I can't wait to see his face light up the way Darien's did when he saw the pictures. I really just can't wait to see both of their faces when we actually get there and they don't know what to do! It's going to be amazing.
I will definitely be taking lots of pics and posting some when we get back. This will be our first real trip and I am excited to share it! Watch out for it next week!!!
This weekend we are heading to Paris! We are going to Euro Disney on Saturday and getting a choice between the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre on Sunday. It's too bad we can't be there longer to really just see it all but there are definitely plans to return to Paris and to make it a couple of days worth of trip! I just can't wait to see what Euro Disney is all about and experience this with our family.
Darien is super excited. He tries to play it off like he doesn't care if he goes or not, but the expressions and questions are all it takes to show how much he can't wait until we get in the car and finally say we are on our way! I should him the website for Disney and his face just lit up, brighter than Christmas. He even asks us every time we get in the car if we are going there yet. We've started showing him on the calendar and he's grasping more that we still have another whole day at home first. But it's awesome that he's getting so excited and doesn't have any clue what is in store!
Adrien still just doesn't understand it. He knows we are going somewhere and will ask about it, but not as exciting for him just yet. Though, I am sure once we get there he will be like a kid in a toy store! I can't wait to see his face light up the way Darien's did when he saw the pictures. I really just can't wait to see both of their faces when we actually get there and they don't know what to do! It's going to be amazing.
I will definitely be taking lots of pics and posting some when we get back. This will be our first real trip and I am excited to share it! Watch out for it next week!!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Family Date
We go out often, having dinner or taking kids somewhere to play. Though, we have never actually taken them to the movies. I've taken Darien before, but never both boys and never as a family. I always worried that they wouldn't be able to sit still or make too much noise, even in a movie that was expected to have kids. That, and movies have always been linked to dates for adults, so they were what we did when we went out without the kids.
Tonight, however, we took them. It was great! We enjoyed having dinner before and then they sat and were quiet for the most part! I mean, expecting a 2 year old to sit quietly for that long is just a crazy expectation, but Adrien did very well! I was impressed by them both! Something we will definitely be doing again!
It's only Tuesday and it's already been an up and down kind of week for me. Today was really just a great day! And ending it with a wonderful family date was just awesome! I love my boys, all (soon to be) 4 of them :)
and Yes, since I haven't mentioned it here yet, there ya go!!! We are having another boy!!! I will be honest and say that I was a little disappointed when we first found out but I am super excited to be adding another precious boy! My boys have been such a blessing in my life and I think 3 of them will just overflow my blessings :) Plus, God has his plans for these boys and for making me their mother so I am more than thrilled :)
Ok, back to life!
Tonight, however, we took them. It was great! We enjoyed having dinner before and then they sat and were quiet for the most part! I mean, expecting a 2 year old to sit quietly for that long is just a crazy expectation, but Adrien did very well! I was impressed by them both! Something we will definitely be doing again!
It's only Tuesday and it's already been an up and down kind of week for me. Today was really just a great day! And ending it with a wonderful family date was just awesome! I love my boys, all (soon to be) 4 of them :)
and Yes, since I haven't mentioned it here yet, there ya go!!! We are having another boy!!! I will be honest and say that I was a little disappointed when we first found out but I am super excited to be adding another precious boy! My boys have been such a blessing in my life and I think 3 of them will just overflow my blessings :) Plus, God has his plans for these boys and for making me their mother so I am more than thrilled :)
Ok, back to life!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Getting back to ME!
I've always put my family, mainly my kids, before anyone, including myself. I make sure their needs are met and try to meet as many of their wants as I can. I help others when I can, always making myself available to those who may need something. Know what happens when you do that too much? You start to lose yourself. I lost myself, and am on the road to finding ME again.
For those who don't know, I had a sort of mental breakdown. I spent the weekend in the hospital, by choice. The stress level had been unbearable and I finally just broke. Between the kids, other personal things, the pregnancy and just letting myself stress over all of it, I needed to just get away from it all, one way or the other. The hospital seemed to be the best option.
After a weekend there, talking to 3 different doctors and missing my family, I was able to come home. No official diagnosis yet but the general belief seems to be that I may be bipolar. This doesn't surprise me at all. Though, it is hard to deal with the fact that I may now have this label that portrays only half of the disorder on television.
The people we watch on tv who are bipolar are the extreme cases. I wouldn't be considered extreme, in fact, I'd only be considered mildly bipolar, or bipolar II. I don't get so excited and crazy right before a depression, I tend more to make major life choices or have bursts of energy that allow me to clean nonstop before having a depression. So, not horribly bad, just can cause for instability of moods and decisions.
After looking back and seeing how this has affected my marriage, I must admit that I have one crazy, but AMAZINGLY STRONG husband to stand by me through everything. Even when I was ready to walk out on him he stood by me and has always stood by me. I am pretty sure God knew what he was doing when he put this man in my life. I can't be anymore thankful for him, our children, or my closest friends.
For my husband and those friends who have helped get me through this last 2 weeks, THANK YOU. It stinks that it happened but I am glad to know who really are the real friends and who aren't. I've even been lucky to find a few people I'd ignored as friends before who really came through when I needed them, as well as had people disappoint me who I believed to be better friends.
I know that things are going to be challenging for some time, especially since I am unable to take medication. But I believe that with the support of my husband, family and closest friends, I can get through anything!
For those who don't know, I had a sort of mental breakdown. I spent the weekend in the hospital, by choice. The stress level had been unbearable and I finally just broke. Between the kids, other personal things, the pregnancy and just letting myself stress over all of it, I needed to just get away from it all, one way or the other. The hospital seemed to be the best option.
After a weekend there, talking to 3 different doctors and missing my family, I was able to come home. No official diagnosis yet but the general belief seems to be that I may be bipolar. This doesn't surprise me at all. Though, it is hard to deal with the fact that I may now have this label that portrays only half of the disorder on television.
The people we watch on tv who are bipolar are the extreme cases. I wouldn't be considered extreme, in fact, I'd only be considered mildly bipolar, or bipolar II. I don't get so excited and crazy right before a depression, I tend more to make major life choices or have bursts of energy that allow me to clean nonstop before having a depression. So, not horribly bad, just can cause for instability of moods and decisions.
After looking back and seeing how this has affected my marriage, I must admit that I have one crazy, but AMAZINGLY STRONG husband to stand by me through everything. Even when I was ready to walk out on him he stood by me and has always stood by me. I am pretty sure God knew what he was doing when he put this man in my life. I can't be anymore thankful for him, our children, or my closest friends.
For my husband and those friends who have helped get me through this last 2 weeks, THANK YOU. It stinks that it happened but I am glad to know who really are the real friends and who aren't. I've even been lucky to find a few people I'd ignored as friends before who really came through when I needed them, as well as had people disappoint me who I believed to be better friends.
I know that things are going to be challenging for some time, especially since I am unable to take medication. But I believe that with the support of my husband, family and closest friends, I can get through anything!
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