God Changed My Marriage!

One of the things we learn when we begin our faith journey is that the husband should be the spiritual leader of the home.  It is engrained in us that the husband is the head of the family, and as such has the role of leading them.  

Ephesians 5:22-26 says:  Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.  
 

Though, I have found that some have taken this out of context.  It seems like wives believe that if their husband doesn't go to church or believe, that they must follow that, even if they want to live in Christ.  They feel that the Bible instructs them to follow their husband, no matter what.  However, this isn't true.  If you read the first verse again, it says "Wives, submit to your own husband as to the Lord".   This doesn't mean to submit to your husband in place of the Lord, but in the same way.  You should still submit to the Lord first, even if your husband doesn't.

My marriage is living proof of the work God can do, if we truly live for Him and allow His work in our lives.  When I first started following Christ, and truly following - not just going through the motions - my husband wasn't so much into it.  He would go to church with me, though mostly just to go along with me, not for himself.  I started going to Celebrate Recovery and he stayed home with the kids.  My spiritual walk was not along side or behind his, it was in a completely different direction.

I started my journey feeling guilty for stepping out in faith before him.  I worried, for a long time, that I was going to "out-grow" him and feel unequally yolked because I was wanting to be so faithful to Christ.  Though, what I found happened was exactly the opposite.  It didn't happen overnight, but because of my faith and trust in God, things began to change. 

Little by little I could see the change in my husband, the change his heart began to make in him.  He started having in-depth discussions with me about the messages we heard at church.  He took lead on teaching our children to pray at meal times.  He started praying and reading the Bible more.  Before I knew it, he was leading me to things I hadn't yet done or considered.  He was taking his place as the spiritual leader!  

Now, a couple years later, I see the blessings God worked in our lives and marriage because I first stepped out in faith and began my walk with Christ.  And though I have witnessed these things over that time, this morning I woke up to find a note he made in our Bible app on a study he is doing.  It really put it into perspective, reminding me of where we started.  So, don't take my word for it, read my husband's words:


                  "Marriage isn't something that is successful naturally. You have to work hard at it and trust in the Lord. It is through Him that your marriage will succeed and without Him that your marriage will fail. I know this from experience. The more we soak our marriage in the Lord's words the closer we become and the stronger our marriage becomes. It doesn't mean we both started on this road together, however. My wife was the fortunate one to start her walk with Christ before me. She didn't make me walk with her, rather she kept on her path and simply prayed for me and our marriage. I began my walk with Christ because I was shown His grace and His blessings with open eyes finally. I had gone to church for years off/on before that, but I had never really gone to purposefully take in His words to apply it to my life. I pray that God continues to bless my family and that through us He helps us expose others to His blessings. Amen."


I can't even begin to describe the joy that filled me as I read his words.  I trusted God in one of the most difficult times of my life, and He has surely blessed me through my marriage.  My husband is the most amazing gift from God and I thank Him daily for allowing us to grow in His word, together!  
 If you are a wife who's husband doesn't follow Christ, don't let that hold you back from living in faith yourself.  Let God lead you and He WILL figure out the rest too!  Don't miss out on Christ's love out of worry or fear of "out-growing" your spouse.  Keep faithful in prayer and He will answer.  

I pray for all marriages to find the grace and blessings we've found through Christ's love!  

Admit and Live in Light!

All around, I felt very spoken to today!  I love it when I feel God is very clearly sending a message, especially when it's a message I NEED to hear!

1 John 1:5-10 says:

Now this is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light, and there is absolutely no darkness in Him. If we say, “We have fellowship with Him,” yet we walk in darkness, we are lying and are not practicing the truth. But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say, “We have no sin,” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say, “We don’t have any sin,” we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.


I spent so much of my life living in the darkness.  Saying I believed but then doing nothing that proved that.  I allowed sin to control my life and tried to hide it, even though I wasn't very successful.  And, that's not to say I don't still sin.  I do.  But, I am much more aware of my sin now, and willing to admit it.  And these verses are so much part of what I believe now, and so very true!

I love that it was said that you can't live in the dark and the light at the same time, because you really can't.  You can't hide your sin, deny it, and be a faithful follower of Christ at the same time.  It just doesn't work that way.  But by bringing that sin into the light, exposing it, you are living in the light!

That is one reason I have felt very pulled to be so open and raw about my life.  I don't want to hide who I am, and I shouldn't.  I don't even want to hide my sin.  I want it exposed, I want others to see it, because I want others to help guide me back to Christ.  If I am hiding it, I am moving further and further from God, and that just doesn't work for me!

I have heard that I am too open, and sometimes I will admit I have been.  Though, I am learning!  I am starting to find who I should and shouldn't share with.  I am learning how much to share and with who.  I am learning who God is placed in my life as guides to help me in my journey closer to Him! 

And lately, I have worried that sharing has allowed for my faith to be called into question.  Or for others to think that because I still mess up that I can't possibly have the faith that I claim.  Today's message, however, reminds me that it's because of my sharing, and because I am able to admit I mess up (more often than I like to admit), shows my faith and how much I really do believe He forgives our sins!  I admit because He told me to!  I admit because my faith is in His word and His love and forgiveness!

I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with sin.  I am also a grateful believer that wants to live in the light, even if my sin shows, and gain His forgiveness! 

"REAL"

Not very long ago I posted a "date night" question that I went ahead and answered.

- Question to ask during date night: What words do you hope people use to describe our marriage?

- Answer was: I hope people say Christ-centered, loving, honest and inspiring! We may not always get it right but God has blessed us beyond all belief! I pray that we can some how inspire others for Christ through our marriage!

Those are still definitely words I pray others use, or will use, when talking about our marriage.  However, today I heard another word that I didn't think of when answering the question, but definitely love that it was used to describe us.

"REAL".  Real.  What an awesome word, especially in this context.   Though, why would, and why should, we feel blessed that this is a word used to describe our marriage?  Because it shows that people see we are raw and open.  It is a compliment to me, because I never want to be fake (or have anyone think I am) when it comes to loving one of the best blessings God has given me!  Our marriage has been through the ringer, and even down the toilet tubes a few times... but even with all our issues, I don't want to ever put on a show that is unbelievable or false. 

I spent too many years trying to put on a show for those around us.  Wanting people to think we had a good marriage, when in fact we had some pretty extreme struggles.  I hid my emotions and feelings from him, and everyone, thinking I was supposed to have it all together.  I faked a smile, faked a few hugs and pretended that I was happy when I was feeling so dead and trapped inside.  And I now realize that no one should do that.  So, after so long of being so fake, I want nothing more than to just be "real"!!!  

When I was given this compliment today, my heart thanked God for His intervention in my marriage.  I almost cried over it, in a good way, because it felt so great to be seen that way, especially after all we've gone through.  And God is the ONLY reason we've gotten to this place of realness with each other, and with those around us.  So, my heart was extremely thankful to Him for being the center of our marriage and teaching us how to be real!  And for opening our hearts to a kind of love I don't think either of us had ever experienced before! 

Because my love is real, and because God's power is real!  And showing how real God's power can be is the greatest thing we can share with others!!!