"I just never thought I would be a one guy kind of girl"
Yes, this is a statement I have made... and now realize the truth behind it. However, the meaning behind that comment is vastly different today than it was when I originally said it four years ago.
For some reason today, a conversation I had with a friend popped into mind as I was thinking about how different my life is today from just a few years ago. Though, what I realized when I thought about it is that I still can't see myself as a "one guy kind of girl". However, the meaning of that statement has changed tremendously.
The first time I made that statement, it was because I wasn't happy in my marriage and thought other men would "fix" my problem. The thought of being married to one guy, only being with one man for the rest of my life, just wasn't very appealing. Surely I wasn't meant to "settle", I wanted to continue exploring. Why be restricted to just one guy when there were so many out there?!
Though, I have come to realize that was SOOOO wrong. Being married to the one man is exactly what I want (and very much NEED)!!! I was definitely missing something, though it wasn't what I thought it was. I was missing fulfillment. But the kind of fulfillment that I was missing couldn't come from any man here on Earth, it could only come from God.
Now that I have found that fulfillment, and have allowed God to help fill the places of my heart and soul that I tried to fill with men, I see how that statement was so very wrong.
However, I will never be a one guy girl... I can't be, EVER...
God has blessed me with not just one guy, he has blessed me with six of them! I can't possibly be a one guy girl when I have six guys who depend on me every single day!!! So, my statement was correct, just made in the wrong context the first time it was made.
I do believe God knew what he was doing when he gave me all boys! I didn't understand it, and in many ways I still don't, but I see now how it is surely fitting. God knew I needed other guys in my life, so He gave them to me, on His terms! Even though it wasn't in the way I first thought I wanted or needed, I know that His ideas are so much better than mine!
I am so blessed to have a God that loves me enough to give me the things I need!
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